Mansquito (2005): Because Mosquidude Didn't Sound Right

While the DVD case that my copy of the film came in read Mosquito Man, for the purposes of this review I will refer to the film by its release title, Mansquito. It appears that this flick was a SciFi channel production from 2005, and we all know that means quality. In fact, I almost had second thoughts, but when I saw that the director was Tibor Takacs. I could not resist giving him a second appearance on the Lair. This looked just stupid enough to warrant a watch, and it turns out that, if there’s a scene where blood splatters on a disco ball and a certain late ‘80’s sitcom star, then the film just can’t lose.

The titular Mansquito was once Ray Erikson (Matt Jordon), a prisoner who signed up for a medical research experiment. He took the opportunity to escape from the guards, but he gets caught in a radioactive explosion with a swarm of mosquitoes. Ray, who transforms into a giant blood sucker, goes on a killing spree, and it’s up to Dr. Jennifer Allen (Musetta Vander) and her cop boyfriend Lt. Thomas Randall (Corin Nemec) to track down the giant ‘skeeter before Jennifer succumbs to her own bloodlust.

This is going to be one of the shortest reviews I’ve ever given a film, but there’s so little here that begs for explanation or examination. I mean what we have here is a SciFi original movie (remember the good old days before SyFy) masquerading on DVD under an alternate title. The acting is poor, the script is poor, and the special effects are poor. That being said, I enjoyed the crap out of watching this flick. Here’s a film with the balls to say that there could be a half man half mosquito out there, and our last line of defense might well be Parker Lewis. I would use a “can’t lose” joke here but I already used my allotted one in the first paragraph.

That’s right bullets won’t harm a Mansquito. His victims are powerless to defend against him. Corin Nemec, however, can get in bare knuckles brawls with this thing multiple times and escape. I have not seen Mr. Nemec in anything since “The Stand” miniseries. When I hear the name it conjures up images of a scrawny, red headed, dorky kid with his loud shirt buttoned all the way up. I remember that last detail because I recall thinking that was good fashion advice. In Mansquito, Nemec is the heroic Lt. Randall, and though the floppy hair is still on display, Nemec is outfitted in a series of unstructured jackets more befitting of Charlie Schlatter, TV’s Ferris Bueller. He’s not bad, but that’s comparative to everyone else in the film so I don’t know if that says much.

The only other person I have to mention in regards to Mansquito is the director Tibor Takacs. A while back I talked about Takacs VHS classic I, Madman, and it wasn’t too long ago that I got a chance to see The Gate again. Both of those are well constructed and, above all, entertaining films. Mansquito is at least the latter of those two. In recent years Takacs has been churning out a bunch of these TV films with titles like Mega Snake and Kraken: Tentacles of the Deep, but if you look back into his career it seems things went really off the rails in 1996 when he directed the TV movie that spawned Sabrina the Teenage Witch. If there’s one really positive thing I could say about Mansquito it’s that the film might be drek, but it’s well directed good looking drek.

Before I sign off on this one, I do want to mention that I did find some charm in the creature a.k.a The Mansquito. For a few shots, the film goes to a cruddy looking CGI, but for the most part we’re talking about a good, old fashioned guy in a rubber suit. It’s not even a bad looking rubber suit. I found it quite gross at some points, and I kind of wished I hadn’t decided this was good viewing material during dinner. The costume was produced and designed by Alterian Inc, special effects artist Tony Gardner’s company, and while I doubt the high profile effects craftsman, whose work includes Zombieland, Army of Darkness, and Lord of Illusions, had anything hands on to do with the monster, it still stands out as the star of this schlock fest.

Sometimes you’ve just got to watch something that’s kind of, or just flat out, terrible. If you’re a horror fan and you can’t stand watching bad movies, then you’re in the wrong line. Mansquito is a flick that should definitely go in the “so bad its good” hall of fame. I only paid a dollar for it, and I will more than get my money’s worth on this title. This is one I will hold onto for one of those nights when some friends are over and inebriation is just setting in. What better time for a movie about a Mosquito Man? Has there ever been a film that has more appropriately sucked?

Bugg Rating