When you think about ninjas there are a few things that come to mind, black outfits, stealth, throwing stars, and swords just to name a few. Our hero today is a ninja apart from other ninjas. Other than wearing a white ninja suit, he also comes equipped with something that I've never thought to be standard issue ninja gear, a giant, bristly, blond moustache. Of course, I'm talking about Franco Nero in the 1981 cult classic Enter the Ninja because when you think of ninjas, you also think of Italian film stars. This film has long been a favorite of mine, and I recall watching it on Showtime over and over again when I was a lad. Cornball in portions, over the top all around, and decidedly off the wall, if it had been made after the bevy of pseudo-sequels and imitators that followed it, then it would be easy to believe that it was parodying those same films. Enter the Ninja may have been a childhood delight, but I worried if it would hold up to adult eyes. So read on to find out if this flick is as mighty as Nero’s ‘stache promises or if it’s as plain as the area under Sho Kosugi’s nose.
As the week begins to slip by, we’re growing ever closer to The Expendables, and I just can’t wait. To hold me over I’m looking at films from some of the stars all week. Yesterday, I started with Eric Roberts in the action classicBest of the Best, and today I get a chance to talk about one of my favorite all time action stars, Dolph Lundgren. I was all of eight years old when I first saw Dolph in action as the Iron Curtain baddie Ivan Drago inRocky IV. Of all the Rocky movies, I think I saw it the most while growing up. From the jingoistic plot (empathized by James Brown’s tune “Livin’ In America”) to seeing Balboa take out his vengeance on the Russian for the death of Apollo Creed, I was consistently enthralled. Not only because of the monosyllabic pugilist played by fellow Expendables star Sly Stallone, but also because of Dolph’s icy, tractor lifting Russian. The next year Dolph stormed my childhood for real when he starred in the Masters of the Universe Movie, and though I appreciate it now, it left me scratching my nine year old head wondering who this He-Man was supposed to be.
Time and time again Dolph popped up in films I wanted to see like The Punisher, Universal Soldier, I Come in Peace, and even Johnny Mnemonic. Each time I enjoyed seeing him, and in recent years he’s starred in a number of enjoyable direct to video flicks like Command Performance, Diamond Dogs, and Icarus. While none of them are top flight films, Dolph always seems to captivate me. As he’s gotten older there’s so much more character in his face, and his look takes me back to a time when action stars were not matinee idols (Channing Tatum, I’m looking at you.) So when I recently stumbled across Blackjack, a film starring Dolph and directed by the legendary action master John Woo, I knew I couldn’t pass it up. Woo had a contract with a Canadian television company to develop two series, the first being “Once a Thief” which serviced in limited syndication for 22 episodes. The second was Blackjack which never got beyond the pilot stages. At the time Woo was between two big American projects, Broken Arrow(1997) and Mission: Impossible (2000) and Dolph was well mired in the direct to rental market. A series combining the talents of John Woo and the charisma of Dolph Lundgren should have been a home run, but unfortunately the end result doesn’t quite deliver.
Dolph stars as Jack Devlin, a former Federal Marshall now turned freelance security expert. To kick things off Jack must save the daughter of a close friend and client, but while guarding the little girl, Jack is blinded by the glare of a flash grenade leaving him with a fear of the color white. When the girl’s father is killed, Jack takes her back to his apartment where he lives with his friend/butler Thomas (venerable character actor Saul Rubinek in an eye patch). He tries to play Mr. Mom, but when his old friend Tim (Fred Williamson) is killed while trying to protect supermodel Cinder James (Kam Heskin), Jack gets back in the protecting business. He finds himself pitted against the model’s crazed, sharp shooting ex-husband, but he must overcome his fear of ivory tones if he’s going to save her life.
That’s right. Dolph has a fear of white. I didn’t even mention the fact that he has a penchant for card tricks and carries a deck of cards with sharpened razor edges. While all of these little character notes might seem silly, they actually all add to the film. Woo exploits the razor cards effectively in a couple of scenes, and Jack’s fear of white makes his throw down with the bad guy at the milk factory a tad difficult. Sure it adds up to action with a side of silly, but Woo had often likes to work humor into his films. Plus when you think about syndicated action shows around that time like Renegade, V.I.P, or She Spies, it fits a similar tone. There are plenty of Woo touches along the way too. Though the action sequences are a little toned down from what you might expect from Woo’s films, there’s still plenty jumping with two guns, walking away from explosions, and black helmeted motorcycle riders to keep most Hong Kong fans happy.
Dolph, as usual, puts on a solid performance using his craggy face to great effect. The fact that he wears sunglasses constantly though a good portion of the film (to avoid white of course) only adds to his air of cool. I’m afraid I don’t have as much good to say about his supporting cast, and this is really where the whole film goes off the rails. First off, Phillip MacKenzie, who plays the psycho ex-husband, does one of the worst, most over the top, most poorly delivered Southern accents ever. It doesn’t help matters that he’s a little weenie looking dude, and if he didn’t have milk around, he wasn’t much of a match for Dolph. Kam Heskin, who would go on to be one of the stars of NBC’s short lived soap “Sunset Beach”, doesn’t fare much better as the drug addled supermodel. Her line delivery missed the mark most of the time, and though she was cute, she didn’t really seem like the world’s most popular model. The rest of the cast fails to distinguish themselves at all, and only the appearances by Saul Rubinek and Fred Williamson add some spice to the proceedings.
While the acting had issues, the real problem lies in the story written by former Miami Vice screenwriter Peter Lance. I know that the film was intended for TV, and the left to right screen wipes inserted where commercials should be never ceased to remind me. However, the story never felt like it would flow or be cohesive even in an episodic format. There were numerous gigantic plot holes (if the ex-husband was working alone where did all the motorcycle riders trying to kill Dolph come from), and portions of the film lag terribly. It runs for nearly two hours (probably its intended running time with commercials), and that is at least a half hour too long. It’s clear that this is not nearly the best either Woo or Lundgren were capable of, but there’s enough of both men’s styles housed in this film to make it work it worth a watch for fans of either man.
Beverly Hills Cop is undoubtedly a classic film. Eddie Murphy in his prime and the movie is one of the funniest comedies of the eighties. Much of the credit has to go to the great script by The Big Easy screenwriter Daniel Petrie Jr., but it almost was a completely different film. Originally, Beverly Hills Cop was supposed to be a vehicle for Sylvester Stallone. Sly did some work on the script, but he backed out of the project when he was told the over the top action scenes would be too expensive for the budget of the film. Instead, he channeled all those ideas into the script for one of the greatest action films in Stallone’s oeuvre. Of course, I’m talking about Cobra, one of my favorite action films ever.
Stallone stars as Cobra, a member (and perhaps the only member) of LA’s “Zombie Squad”, so called because if you become their target you might as well be the living dead. Cobra has been relegated to the squad due to his reckless techniques and bad attitude, but when a job needs to be done, like dispatching a crazed gunman in a supermarket, he’s the man you call. The City of Angels has been terrorized by the Night Slasher killings, a series of murders being committed seemingly at random. When the beautiful model Ingrid, Brigitte Nielsen, escapes their clutches, Cobra makes it his mission to protect her. He tries to get her out of town, but a traitor within the force gives up their location leading to a massive shootout at a motel.
If the synopsis doesn’t make much sense, well, then it fits in nicely with the film I’m speaking of. Cobra is not a flick to watch if you’re interested in things like character development or a comprehensible plot, but if you want balls to the wall action, then this is the flick for you. The opening set piece of the film, the supermarket showdown, is perhaps my favorite opening sequence of any flick. It establishes Cobra as a badass cop with a badass car, but more than that, a man who could give Bond or Arnie a run for their money in the one-liner department. To prove my point I want to give you my top three lines from Cobra.
1. You’re the disease. I’m the cure.
2. This is where the law stops and I start, sucker.
3. Cobra (to thug smoking a cigarette): That’s bad for your health.
Thug: What?
Cobra: Me.
Those barely scratch the surface of the level of dialog that you’re looking at in Cobra. Plus, you’ve got a hero with a name like Cobra which is awesome, but you know what’s even better, that his name is really Marion Cobretti. This revelation leads to another classic interchange:
Cobra: I always wanted to have kinda a little tougher name.
Ingird: Like What?
Cobra: Alice.
Speaking of Ingrid. Who doesn’t miss early eighties Brigitte Nielsen? When I do, I know it’s time to check out RedSonja or Cobra again. Sure, in Cobra, she’s not the redheaded vision in a chain mail bikini, but she does show off those fabulous legs in a montage joined by killings and random robots. As far as Brigitte’s performance, it could have really been anyone, but the future paramour of Flava Flav proves herself to have been respectable eye candy at the time.
DirtyHarry veteran Andrew Robinson shows up on the right side of the law in this flick. Robinson was the Scorpio Killer in the Eastwood classic, and horror fans will surely recognize him as Larry from Hellraiser. Robinson is very entertaining as the “by the book” cop that gets under Cobretti’s skin, and it was quite satisfying when Stallone clocks him. For some reason no matter what part he’s playing I just want to punch him in the face. Over and over. I really hope I never meet him anywhere as there’s no telling what I might do.
It’s not that Sly is bad so much as, well, he’s Sly. Cobra is the film that most typifies the Stallone that impressionists have a field day with. He acts strange, wears some of the highest waisted jeans ever seen, and mumbles through his dialog. He tries to give Cobretti all these little quirks with dramatic removals of his aviator sunglasses or when cuts part of the pizza off with scissors. He wears leather, drives an old Mercury, and one of his cop buddies calls him a “reject from the ‘50’s”, but Cobra is all about the ‘80’s. You know in a Stray Cats kind of way.
One of the other highlights of the film is Brian Thompson as the big bad known as the Night Slasher. With his Flea Market style spiked knife and imposing physique, he makes for quite a good foil for Stallone. Thompson is one of those actors who has an face that you know you’ve seen but you don’t know quite where. For me it turned out that I was reconciling him for being The Master’s Number 2, Luke, on Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season 1. Thompson is still working, and continues to pop up in film and TV every now and then. If you’re a casting director looking for an abnormally large creep, then he’s the fellow you should call.
Cobra was directed by quite an underrated fellow, George P. Cosmatos. Not only did he direct this fine film he also helmed my favorite modern western Tombstone, and if they don’t make him my huckleberry, then I don’t know what would. Cobra was well shot with the action sequences and fighting done in some nice midrange shots. It’s always nice to look back at directors who knew how to shoot action. I prefer this style so much to the tightly shot, frenetically cut mush that passes for fight scenes these days.
There’s not much else to say about this epic except that you just have to see it. Everyone I’ve ever shown it to has had a good time, and that includes quite a few folks who don’t care for action in general or Sly in specific. It’s just one of those films that you’re just going to have a smile on your face by the end because of the sheer stupidity of the last ninety minutes. So check it out. Boredom is a disease, and Cobra it’s the cure.
In 2008’s JCVD there is a great line wherein Van Damme is credited with being the man who brought John Woo from Hong Kong to the states, and while his films since have been hit or miss, I always found Woo’s first stateside effort to be a highly entertaining affair. So this week we start with the film in question, and then for the rest of the month you can look for my reviews of more Woo goodness as we start the Friday Feature I like to call Everybody Wants a Gun Like The Killer. Without further ado, lets get down to the business at hand because this movie is difficult to pin down, in fact one might say it’s a….
Hard Target (1993) starring Jean Claude Van Damme, Lance Henrickson, Wilford Brimley, and Yancy Butler. Directed by John Woo.
When Natasha Binder’s father goes missing in the streets of New Orleans, she turns to local boy Chance Boudreaux (Van Damme) for help finding him. When his body is discovered in a burnt out building, Chance suspects there’s more to this story than there seems. As he begins to investigate, he discovers a gang offering their wealthy clientele a chance to hunt a man for the right price. The gangs leader (Henrickson) is not pleased with the nosy Cajun‘s inquiries into his business, and soon the next target becomes Chance.
The Bugg Speaks
It’s all here. All the trademarks that John Woo fans loved in his Hong Kong films are on full display. So why does Hard Target get a bad rap? Easy enough to explain. Jean Claude Van Damme, you are to blame, but you know what, you shouldn’t be. In the wake of JCVD, I threw myself headlong into Van Damme’s oeuvre. I checked out some of his early films, like Bloodsport, that I hadn’t seen in years, a couple mid-career flicks, Sudden Impact being the best of those, and even a couple of his dreadful recent films (avoid The Order at all costs). While comparing his performance in Hard Target to most of those films, I found that his turn as Chance Boudreaux was one of his best. After all, while his accent is surely not that of a Cajun, it does seem somewhat believable.
What really turns around Van Damme’s performance is how John Woo handles the hero’s of his films. Woo takes his actors and makes them flawed mythical heroes. From the moment Boudreaux is introduced, Woo starts building this image. Sporting a long trench coat (and a mullet nearly as long), Chance appears to save a girl from a gang of street thugs, and the Woo effect begins. The camera goes into slow motion. Chance sweeps his coat back like a gunfighter, but instead revealing a gun, he’s readying his leg. Then in typical John Woo fashion, all hell breaks loose. It is nowhere near the best action sequence of the film, but it is pretty dang good. What it does do is establish the Chance Boudreaux character as a cool, calm, and collected badass, the only kind John Woo knows.
What’s a good guy without a baddie to match though, and Hard Target brings a couple of good ones. Lance Henrickson is a man who should need no introduction to cult and horror movie fans. If for some reason you don’t know who he is, then stop reading this and go rent Aliens, Pumpkinhead, and Near Dark. Now that that’s settled, let me just say that Henrickson chews up the scenery as only he can, and he makes his human hunting character one mean ass bastard by taking it over the top. As his right hand man, Arnold Vosloo, who would go on to play The Mummy, is the very picture of a John Woo baddie. It’s too bad that some of his performance was edited down, but more on that later.
I also have to mention that Hard Target features a couple small roles that I really liked. First off, how can I not mention Wilford Brimley as Chance’s bayou dwelling uncle. Talk about your accents, Brimley’s is way over the top, but the oatmeal spokesman is gloriously entertaining. I especially loved seeing him let loose with some action as he skewers a couple of baddies with a bow and arrow. Then there’s Sven Ole-Thorson, one of my favorite people to see in any film, and he brings some life to a very tiny part. In additon there’s another stellar character performance from Elliott Keener as a smut peddler. The only acting in the film that felt disposable was Yancy Butler as the damsel in distress. It was a one note character being played with a half note performance, but in fairness, I’ve never felt that Woo brought many good female roles to his movies.
As I mentioned before, all of John Woo’s trademarks are on full display. You get your slow motion action sequences, you get guns being thrown around, you get birds flying around in action scenes, and motorcycles and sunglasses litter the film. The only thing missing is Woo’s traditional Mexican standoff, but I wonder if this was intentionally left out. There is a scene where Vosloo’s character cuts off an ear, and Woo placed this bit into the film as a nod to Quentin Tarantino’s Reservoir Dogs. Famously the standoff in Tarantino’s film had been inspired by similar scenes in Woo’s flicks. It’s really cool to see this back and forth between two of my favorite directors.
Hard Target does not feature the slick perfection in the action scenes that Woo was known for with his Hong Kong epics, and I blame this partially on him getting used to the American studio system. However, this is the last American film of his that I enjoy so don’t expect to see Face/Off, Broken Arrow, or Paycheck to be featured this month. Woo did lose some of his magic when he came to the US, but Hard Target still retains enough of his original style to make it a worthwhile entry into the director’s catalog.
At it’s core, Hard Target is nothing more than a retelling of The Most Dangerous Game, but Woo’s style and Van Damme’s physicality overcome the overdone premise. If you haven’t seen Hard Target because you were wary of Jean-Claude or suspect of John Woo’s recent films, then I encourage you to give it a chance. It’s an enjoyable action film that features some great set pieces, and some really nice footage of the New Orleans streets. Make sure you check out I Got the Ways and Means today for pictures of the location where the films first action sequence takes place, and I’ll see you folks back here next week as I go back in time with John Woo and revisit some of his greatest films.
Bugg Rating
As a little bonus today I found the clip of the first action sequence for you to enjoy!
When Memorial Day was established, it was first intended to be a day to remember the dead soldiers of the Union army, but after World War I it was repurposed to be a day of remembrance for any of war’s fallen dead. With this in mind I chose a film about a man who never forgot his fellow soldier, so today I’m talking about a fellow called Braddock and a film called…
Missing in Action (1984) starring Chuck Norris, M. Emmett Walsh, James Hong, and Ernie Ortega. Directed by Joseph Zito.
Col. James Braddock (Norris) had only recently escaped a Vietnamese prison where he had been held for many years, and now he’s on a mission to save other Americans held hostage. However, the Vietnamese government, through spokesman Gen. Trau (Hong) denies that there are any such prisoners. Enlisting the help of former army buddy Tucker (Walsh), Braddock makes his way deep into the jungles of Vietnam to bring back any men he can find that have been missing all these years.
The Bugg Speaks
After the success of First Blood (1982), all the studios were looking for a film to capture the same zeitgeist as the first tale of John Rambo. So who better to call in than one of the most jingoistic of action stars, Mr. Chuck Norris, and while Chuck’s film did not have the impact of Stallone’s, it did lead to two more sequels and plenty more chances for Norris to show off his beard. Unlike First Blood’s portrait of a PTSD nightmare, Missing in Action portrays Norris’ Braddock as troubled, but strong enough to overcome it. He’s also strong enough to kick anyone’s ass who gets in his way and magical enough to pull off some incredible feats of daring. In some ways, one might wonder if Missing in Action influenced the broader action in 1985’s Rambo: First Blood Part II.
As is usual, Norris plays the tough guy to the hilt, but unlike his earlier films, Missing in Action downplays his martial arts prowess for gunplay and enough explosions to make Michael Bay jealous. Braddock seems to mope about most of the time if he doesn’t have a gun in his hand, but he does show a few lighter moments that saved the story from getting monotonous. He also likes to change his shirt, and I do mean a lot. When I mentioned this to my wife, she informed me that women used to quite like Chuck, but I found it hard to believe that many women swooned over a man with that much orange hair on his body. At any rate Norris goes though at least a half dozen onscreen costume changes which, in its own rite, becomes quite funny after a bit.
Missing In Action also features a few of my favorite character actors. Gen. Trau is played by James Hong who has long been a fixture in Hollywood films anytime there’s a call for a thin, creepy Asian actor, but many may know him best as the diabolical David Lo Pan in the classic Big Trouble in Little China. Then you have M. Emmett Walsh, the reliable character actor that I consider something of a spiritual brother to Joe Don Baker. Walsh may be best known for his work in Blade Runner or as the sniper out to get Steve Martin in The Jerk. In Missing in Action he provides some comic relief as Braddock’s army buddy, and he is a welcome relief from Norris’ increasingly serious tone as the film goes on.
The film starts rather slow with over an hour devoted to setting up both Braddock’s character and the conflict with the Vietnamese, but once you get past that point the film kicks into high octane mode and it revels in explosions and gun battles that get pretty exciting and ludicrous. My favorite bit of action silliness has to be when the baddies think they have killed Braddock in a river, and he rises (in slow motion of course) from the water while firing his M-16 for all that it’s worth. It’s the perfect example of the excess of the ‘80’s action hero. Not only is it unbelievable, the way it’s played out is reminiscent of how one might film a bikini clad goddess rising from the water.
This is a film with a serious message, and I for one would never make light of the plight of any soldiers who are missing or imprisoned in a foreign land. The problem is how seriously can you take a message when the film is adorned with stereotypically bad Vietnamese, pyrotechnics for the sake of spectacle, and a man who changes his shirt so often you’re not sure if he’s a clothes horse or just get’s that smelly that fast? I have yet to see the sequels, but my wife who has tells me that they just get more over the top and ludicrous as the story goes on which hardly seems possible. Missing in Action does not rank up there with the greats of ‘80’s action cinema, and it seems to me that by this time Norris had already left the best of his work behind him. It’s not a bad film, but if you’re going to remember the soldiers, at least give them something great to be remembered by.
There is only a 1 in 250 chance that a mother will give birth to identical twins. This is the same percentage chance you have of firing an arrow and getting a bull’s-eye, unless you’re Green Arrow and then that’s just not fair. What I wonder is what are the chances that of those identical twins, one will become a priest and one a hardened gunfighter. Better yet, what are the chances identical twins would also sport identical mullets that look like they were made of Brillo pads? Pretty high, I would suppose, but anything is possible when you’re staring down the barrel of…
God’s Gun (1976) [Italian: Pistola di Dio] starring Lee Van Cleef, Jack Palance, Lief Garrett, Richard Boone, and Sybil Danning. Directed by Gianfranco Parolini.
Father John (Van Cleef) was living a quiet life in Juno, Texas. He kept a quiet church, held regular services, and was a mentor to young Johnny (Garrett). All that changed when the Clayton gang rode into town. Headed by the merciless bandit Sam Clayton (Palance), the little town is terrorized by the gang, and the local sheriff (Boone) puts up no resistance. Things only get worse when Sam’s nephew Jess murders a man in cold blood and gets away with it. Having seen all he can stand, Father John goes to the gang’s camp and returns with Jess in tow. The Claytons don’t take too kindly to their man being imprisoned. So they ride into town to bust him out, and for good measure gun down Father John in the street.
Distraught by the loss of his mentor, Johnny rides out of town headed for Mexico in search of Father John’s long lost brother, a gunfighter named Lewis (Van Cleef). After much searching, he finally locates him and is stunned to find out that the brothers are spitting images of each other. Johnny tells him of his brother’s untimely demise at the hands of the Claytons, and Lewis knows he must travel to Juno and set things right and bring the wrath of God with him.
The Bugg Picture
God’s Gun is apparently just a regular, silver-plated six-shooter. Kind of a letdown. When I picture God’s gun in my mind it’s enormous with some kind of otherworldly glow about it, and surely, instead of bullets it is loaded with unending rounds of lightning bolts or some such similar ammunition proper for smiting fools with. Instead, it turns out that God’s gun is simply the gun Father John was holding for his brother Lewis who had finally given up his gun slinging ways.
This flick was made toward the end of Lee Van Cleef’s run of spaghetti westerns, and it is surely not one of his better efforts. However, I do think that this entertaining film is unfairly maligned, and this is quite possibly due to the number of terrible transfers available on the market. Almost every time I have seen this film, it has been an overexposed looking, pan and scan (minus the scanning), badly dubbed mess, but if you happen to catch it on the Encore Westerns channel they seem to have a nice print. While I had seen that version, this time I viewed it from DVD in the aforementioned terrible formatting. In a way, it does detract from the film, especially the bad dubbing of Van Cleef and Palance, but I rather enjoy seeing films of this ilk in a rougher format.
Van Cleef gives his normal stoic performance that is unfortunately brought down to laughable proportions by the horrid mullet wig he wears. What in the world would possess two brothers who haven’t seen each other for years to maintain a matching set of horrendous haircuts is beyond me. Lee doesn’t try to stretch the acting muscle too much and while he is believable as the avenging gunfighter, the role of a kindly priest does not fit him too well. Jack Palance is at least given plenty of room to do what he does best, bask in the glow of all things evil. While Jack doesn’t have too much to do, and the big “revelation” about his character is telegraphed terribly, he is an enjoyable actor to watch work. When Sam Clayton is just kicking back smiling while his cronies rape, pillage, and murder, Palance is very believable as the hedonistic criminal.
It’s very interesting to see Sybil Danning show up here looking quite pretty and young. While many genre movie fans will be familiar with Ms. Danning from her roles in The Howling II and Reform School Girls, her early career was driven mostly from starring in European productions with such luminaries as Franco Nero and Fabio Testi. Like Palance, Danning is given little to do other than be little Johnny’s mother, but speaking of little Johnny, I was sure surprised to see everyone’s favorite former teen idol/ current train wreck Leif Garrett show up here. Looking young enough to make the Jonas Brother’s crowd swoon, Garrett is fairly annoying in the first half of the movie, but his performance improves after he sees Father John gunned down. That’s when Johnny becomes a mute, and it’s much more fun to see him gesticulate or draw pictures to get his point across. Richard Boone is perhaps the most tragically underused actor in the film. The former Paladin from TV’s Have Gun Will Travel is given little to do except act like a massive weenie, and that’s just not the Boone I know and love.
Overall, while none of the actors are throwing out brilliant performances, they do manage to edge out the skill of the director. Gianfranco Parolini, who previously helmed films such as Adios, Sabata and 3 Supermen, drags his camera about the scenes with none of the zest for the genre that his contemporaries used to such good effect. Shot on location in Israel, which doubles nicely for the American west, Parolini doesn’t even make use of the gorgeous panoramas that surround his ramshackle buildings. Instead, we are greeted by a series of mostly static shots.
What makes this movie interesting is the ludicrous nature of the plot. From The Parent Trap to Double Impact, twins usually have great entertainment value in film. This time is no exception, and the highlight of God’s Gun comes when Van Cleef gets to spend some quality time onscreen with himself. In you’re a fan of Lee’s work and you get a chance to see this one, hopefully, you’ll get lucky with a better transfer than I have, but either way it’s an enjoyable entry into the western genre that does end up with a few quality twists at the end to pay off on some of the slower moments.
The Grab Bag this week is full of goodness is the form of one of my favorite films. There’s tons of fun stuff when you look back at ‘80’s action films, but I’ve always had a soft spot in my heart for those set in a dystopian future. So we’re talking your Robocop, Timecop, Demolition Man, Darkman, and so forth. Then there’s tonight’s film. A film featuring musicians, governors, game show hosts, wrestlers, and some of the greatest/worst one liners in cinema history. So now brought to you by the Department of Justice: Entertainment Division, the most popular show in the world, it’s time for….
The Running Man (1987) starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Maria Conchita Alonso, Yaphet Kotto, Jess Ventura, Jim Brown, Richard Dawson, Professor Toru Tanaka, Mick Fleetwood, Dweezil Zappa, Marvil J. McIntyre, and Sven Ole-Thorson. Directed by Paul Michael Glaser.
When a food riot breaks out in the Bakersfield community, helicopter pilot Ben Richards (Schwarzenegger) and his crew scan the crowd and find them unarmed, but when Richards is given the order to open fire, he refuses. After a struggle he gets overpowered by the other men, and more than 60 people died that day. They are told their killer was a rogue officer who opened fire on his own, a man they call the Butcher of Bakersfield, Ben Richards.
Imprisoned, Richards, along with jailed revolutionaries Laughlin and Weiss (Kotto and McIntyre), make a daring escape. Ben makes his way to the city and his brother’s apartment, but he finds his brother has been taken away for reeducation. Instead, Amber Mendez (Alonso), a composer for ubiquitous television station ICS, is living there, and Richards takes her hostage in an attempt to leave the city.
At the airport, his plan falls apart, and he wakes in the clutches of Killian (Dawson) the host of the worlds most popular game show, The Running Man. Ben is given a choice to participate in the game or his friends Weiss and Laughlin will go in his place. So Ben becomes a contestant. Dropped along with Weiss and Laughlin into a desolated area made up of 400 blocks , Richards must use every trick he has to escape the deadly hunters who roam the area looking to take them out. Weiss realizes that the main transmitter for ICS is located in the area, and now they must survive to take the information to Mick and the underground so Killian and ICS can be put out of business once and for all.
The Bugg Picture
I know that was quite a long synopsis, but I so very much love this film. It’s up there with Big Trouble in Little China as a flick that never loses its luster. However, on the whole it’s not a terribly good movie. The script is full of the corniest jokes. The action is limited and the special effects poor. The best acting comes from Richard Dawson. Still, The Running Man turns out to be one damn enjoyable flick.
While I said the story was based on the novella by Steven King, perhaps what I should have said is inspired by. There is very little apart from the show and the names of the hero and villain that remain from the novella. While King’s story is a tragic tale of a man pushed too far by an evil corperation, Glaser’s The Running Man veers
more toward commentary on social decadence. The government with its hand in entertainment, the television the ultimate purveyor of justice, and the public, full of rabid bloodlust, wagering on the outcome. In an era when the line between politics and entertainment are blurred and reality programming still rules the airwaves of the major networks, it seems even less far fetched now than in the 80’s that Killian could make a call to “the President’s agent”.
So while the themes of the movie still feel compelling and interesting, the acting is as bad as ever. Arnie does his thing though, so how can you really criticize. Coming off a string of successes, Schwarzenegger beats bad guys down, chomps on cigars, and delivers a string of bad one liners. Now when I say bad, what I really mean is great. Let me give you my top 3 favorites:
3. (After strangling a man to death) He was a real pain in the neck.
2. (In response to Killian telling him to drop dead) I don’t do requests.
1. (When he’s fed up with the revolutionaries) Uplink underground, uplink underground. If you say that one more time, I’ll uplink your ass, and you’ll be underground.
There’s tons more, but I won't go into them. Suffice to say that Arnie is Arnie. His compatriots fare far worse though Yaphet Kotto definitely phoned in his performance as Laughlin, and McIntyre’s Weiss seems to be more of a plot device than a character. I did enjoy some of the other performers very much though. Not only was she very cute and reminded me of a mixture between Salma Hayek and Penelope Cruz (like having Banditas rolled up in one package), Maria Conchita Alonso actually manages to infuse her character with a degree of personality that I’m sure was not on the page.
The cameos from Mick Fleetwood of Fleetwood Mac and Dweezil Zappa of having been given a messed up name by his father Frank, give the film an extra little something for music fans. In fact it is slightly implied that Mick Fleetwood is playing himself. Cause, you know, in a dystopian future the leader of the revolutionaries would be a 60+ year old retired rock star famous for being the drummer in a band that rules Adult Contemporary radio. Who are his Lieutenants, Michael Bolton and James Taylor?
The best actor award here has to go to Richard Dawson. Probably best known for his Family Feud days, Dawson was no stranger to acting. After all he appeared on 168 episodes of Hogan’s Heroes as Cpl. Peter Newkirk. He would go on to make a few films before becoming something of a professional celebrity contestant on many shows in the early ‘70’s. Then in 1976, he started hosting the Feud, and the rest is history. Dawson’s Killian worked so well because you could see the impish glee with which the man approached his role, and lets be honest there was more than a little of his own television persona in the character.
The Running Man would be nothing without the hunters though and what a great group that assembled to play these guys. You’ve got Jesse ‘The Body” Ventura as retired hunter/ commentator Captain Freedom. Former football star and longtime actor Jim Brown appearing as Fireball. Professor Toru Tanaka, the former wrestler and tag team partner of Mr. Fuji, as the killer hockey player Sub Zero. Opera singer Erland van Lidth shows up as the electrifying and attempted rapeifying Dynamo. Finally, Gus Rethwisch, who had just played Arnold the Barbarian in House II: The Second Story, as the chainsaw wielding Buzzsaw.
Director Paul Michal Glaser (a.k.a Starsky) never really made another worthwhile film, and if you don’t believe me, let me just say that he made Kazaam. Yet for one film, the forces of Steven King, campy goodness, and sci fi cult goodness came together to create something special. The Running Man might not be one of the great films of all time, but it’s one of the greatest films to put on if I just want to kick back and have a mindless good time.
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