Showing posts with label robot. Show all posts
Showing posts with label robot. Show all posts
Get Off on the Goldfoot: Kicking off Summer with Vincent Price
Instant Terror Tuesday: Futureworld (1976) It's Epcot Center Meets The Manchurian Candidate
It’s Tuesday so you know what that means. It’s time once again for Instant Terror Tuesday, and today I might be stretching the definition of terror just a tad. The 1973 Michael Crichton film Westworld was several things, a hit, an action movie, and well received. Three years later the fine people at American International made the sequel, Futureworld, and it didn’t share any of the qualities of the original. Instead of gunfights and robots running amok (seemingly lead by Yul Brenner’s Gunslinger), the plot of the sequel centers on paranoia and international conspiracy by hijacking a “body snatchers” type style. Futureworld didn’t fare that well with the public, but I had only watched it once years ago and couldn’t remember what it was like at all. So I thought why not take a step back from the hardcore horror films I’d been watching lately and check out this ill remembered sci-fi thriller.
Bugg Rating
Spacehunter: Adventures in the Forbidden Zone (1983)
Watching a movie can elicit a number of feelings, but one that I always find very strange is unexpected nostalgia. By itself, the yearning for things and years gone by is something I completely understand. It’s what keeps me watching films like Heartbeeps or The Ice Pirates. What I’m talking about is somewhat different. This movie had the ability to take me back to my childhood even though it was never a part of it. That is exactly what I felt this week when I finally got around to seeing Spacehunter: Adventures in the Forbidden Zone. The whole time I watched I was filled with a kind of childhood fondness I usually only reserve for when I break out my ancient “special edition” video tape and watch Star Wars as it was meant to be. When I got to asking around about Spacehunter, it turns out that many of the people I know remember it, and a few even saw the film in its partial 3-D theatrical release.
The same year that Spacehunter was released in theaters, Return of the Jedi was the highest grossing film of the year. By comparison, Spacehunter came in 44th only narrowly beating out an actual childhood favorite, D.C. Cab. So it might stand to reason why I haven’t ever heard of Spacehunter. In a year crowded with Jedi, Krull, National Lampoon’s Vacation, Wargames, Mr. Mom, Never Say Never Again and Octopussy, something was bound to slip through the cracks. For director Lamont Johnson, a veteran of television for almost thirty years with few feature film credits, it must have bee a bitter pill to swallow. Once again his attempt to jump from the small screen to the big screen had failed, and this time by the last chapter in one of the most beloved science fiction films of all time.
Bugg Rating
B.L.O.G Presents Starcrash (1978) with Caroline Munro
A few weeks back, I started my review of Halloween III by boldly stating that I didn’t care for Michael Myers. This week I’m going to go out on a further limb. I’m not really a fan of Star Wars. Sure, I liked it when I was younger, who didn’t, but as the years passed, the less I wanted to War and the more I wanted to Trek. By the time Lucas barfed up that prequel trilogy, Star Wars was all but dead to me. Yet there is something that Star Wars gave the world that I do really, really enjoy, the Star Wars rip-off. I thoroughly enjoyed Turkish Star Wars, Star Chaser, and Battle Beyond of the Stars. So when I saw that Cinema de Bizarre was offering Luigi Cozzi’s entry into the genre, Starcrash, I had to check it out.
In the place of a young farm boy, our hero is Stella Star (Caroline Munro), a smuggler that’s more Han than Luke, and along with her partner Akton (Marjoe Gortner), she makes a living salvaging whatever she can from deep space. The duo is finally caught by Chief of Police Thor (Robert Tessier) and Police Robot Elle (Hamilton Camp) and sentenced to hard labor. They get released from jail by the Galactic Emperor (Christopher Plummer) to aid in finding a missing ship which had been attacked by Count Zarth Arn’s (Joe Spinelli) forces. The Emperor dispatches the duo along with Thor and Elle to discover what secret weapon Zarth Arn is wielding and to see if his son, Simon (David Hasselhoff) had survived the attack. Along the way they must battle Amazons, giant robots, and roving bands of Neanderthals before facing off against Zarth Arn with the fate of a galaxy on the line.
From the very first frame of Starcrash you know two things about this film. First, you get an extended shot of a huge space frigate floating along so there’s no mistaking exactly what they were ripping off. This is followed shortly by a block of floating text (French in the version I watched) detailing the back-story of the conflict between the Emperor and Zarth Arn. Secondly, from how terrible the effects are, you get an idea of how fast this film was turned out to capitalize on Star Wars mania. Not only does the ship in space look bad, but when it’s attacked by Zarth Arn’s secret weapon, which shows up as a globulous red overlay inside the ship, all I could think was that they were being attacked by the light show operator from the Fillmore East. (That was a joke for people over the age of 50 more than likely, but I like it so I’m keeping it.) The effects never get better, but it kind of adds to the campy majesty that is Starcrash.
Of course, we’re here today because of the star of the film, Miss Stella Star herself, Caroline Munro. If ever there was a woman who more deserved to be inducted into the ranks of the Beautiful Ladies of Genre, then I don’t know who that is. Munro started her career as a model and made her leap to the big screen with an un-credited part in 1967’s Casino Royale. The first big role she landed was that of the deceased wife of Vincent Price’s Dr Phibes, and she followed that up with a spot of Hammer horror, Captain Kronus- Vampire Hunter. It was her role in the 1977 James Bond film The Spy who Loved Me that brought her to wide attention. In that film she played the evil assassin Naomi, the first woman ever verifiably killed by James Bond. Then in 1978 came Starcrash. Stella Star is of course there to be our hero, and to provide something for the fellas to look at as well. This is made quite clear when she’s sent to prison in her converted bathing suit outfit and knee high leather boots while her fellow prisoners are dressed in rags. Her performance is just what it should be. She plays it serious, and with campy material like this, that’s exactly what it called for. After Starcrash, Munro would continue in genre work. She made a pair or films, Maniac and The Last Horror Show, with her Starcrash co-star Joe Spinelli, Paul Nachy’s 1987 film Howl of the Devil, and reunited with Cozzi for 1989’s The Black Cat before she all but retired from the business to focus on her family and children.
While Munro is the reason we’re talking about Starcrash today, she’s, by far, not the only noteworthy performer on hand. Personally, I have a soft spot for the lesser films of Marjoe Gortner. I discussed Gortner's childhood as an evangelist in an earlier review of Mausoleum so I won’t rehash that here. Gortner has a unique look about him, and he was perfect casting for Stella Star’s sidekick with mysterious powers, Akton. Gortner is also only one of three actors (the others being Chris Plummer and The Hoff) who dubbed their own voice for the film. While it would be a year later in 1979’s When You Comin’ Back, Red Ryder? that Gortner would give his best performance, Gortner is as entertaining to watch as ever in Starcrash.
The supporting cast is a verifiable “who’s who” of people that it’s hard to believe appear in this film. Let’s start with Christopher Plummer. Now Plummer would go on appear another of my favorite science fiction movies when he showed up as General Chang in Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country, but he’s probably best known for his turn as Baron Von Trapp in The Sound of Music (1965). Plummer has never been snobby about appearing in mainstream and genre film work, and that’s something I really respect in an actor. In Starcrash, he has very limited screen time, once appearing only as a hologram, but he brings gravitas the role of the Space Emperor which was probably much needed.
Next up, Joe Spinelli, which horror fans will know from the aforementioned films Maniac and The Last Horror Film, shows up as the Emperors’ nemesis Darth Arn. Wait did I say Darth? I, of course, meant Zarth. Anyhow, Spinelli plays Zarth Arn with relentless over the top gusto all the while looking like Ming the Merciless’ ugly brother. I have to admit that every time he hit the screen I giggled a bit, but this is the kind of film that will have you laughing already so one more won’t hurt. Chief of Police Thor played by Robert Tessier might be a familiar face as well. He’s done a ton of character work over the years, and he began his career with a role in the first Billy Jack film 1967’s the Born Losers. Over the years he also appeared with Charles Bronson in Hard Times, as the Dutchman in the 1967 Doc Savage movie, and in Peter Yate’s The Deep. Meanwhile his sidekick, Police Robot Elle was voiced by Hamilton Camp best known for his character roles and providing voices on the cartoon Duck Tales. Whose choice it was to make Elle a robot with a southern accent is anyone’s guess, but I could not have enjoyed it more. I mean how can you not like a robot that sounds like a hick saying things like, “Is time for a little robot chauvinism.”? Classic, I tell you.
Now I haven’t mentioned one person in this cast because his role doesn’t come in until the last third of the film, but what a treat to see a young, pre-Knight Rider David Hasselhoff hamming it up as only The Hoff can do. Long before he was lounging around shirtless eating burgers, he appeared in a couple of low budget features including Starcrash and 1976’s Revenge of the Cheerleaders (where he’s credited as Boner making it a must see). Hasselhoff is exactly what you would expect from him. He’s younger, but his acting was no better. Still, I bet his appearance in the film somehow made this flick huge in Germany.
All in all, Starcrash is a Star Wars rip off that didn’t even take the fact that it was a rip off too seriously. It manages to be funny, both intentionally and accidentally, have some good old fashioned cheesy effects, and entertain for ninety solid minutes. I found the film overall to be worthy of a recommendation, but don’t go into this film expecting to see a masterpiece. If you do, you’ll find yourself disappointed. What you’re going to get is a campy, stupid, cut rate space opera that if taken on face value will deliver no more than it promises. If given the choice between watching a Star Wars film or Starcrash, it would be a pretty easy choice. Well, except then I’d remember how much I like Empire. I suppose a double feature would be on tap then.
Bugg Rating
Multi- Monday Gets Beat Dead By Robocop
In 1988, the Soviet Union was crumbling, the Iran-Contra affair was blowing up in the government’s face, Rain Man was ruling the box office, and the literary world mourned the death of Robert Heinlein. Meanwhile, action films were going new places with movies like Die Hard and Young Guns breaking the established mold. For today’s Multi Monday, I want to talk about two independent action films to come out that year. One was a flick I grew up watching that I love more and more each year while the other is a new favorite that I have just discovered thanks to the guys at Outside the Cinema.
If I said to you that I wanted you to check out a low budget, independent action film from 1988, most people would politely decline. That would really be too bad because Jim Van Bebber’s Deadbeat at Dawn is a film that is not to be missed. Van Bebber had a passion for films from a very early age, making films throughout high school with a Super 8 camera. One of the films he made, Into the Black, would garner him a scholarship to Wright State University in Dayton, Ohio. After attending one year, Van Bebber applied for a student loan to continue his education, but unbeknownst to the financial establishment that loaned him the money, Van Bebber dropped out of school and began to devote his time to making his first feature film that would become Deadbeat at Dawn.
The film follows Goose (Van Bebber) the leader of the Ravens street gang. Following a rumble in the park where Goose is cut up by Danny, the leader of rival gang The Spiders, Goose’s girlfriend Christy (Megan Murphy) urges him to quit the gang. Goose goes out to the graveyard to practice his Nunchucks, reflect (which means screaming at the city “You motherfuckers!”), and finally decides that he would rather be with Christy than lead the Ravens. He tells his second in command Keith (Ric Walker) that he is leaving the life. All he has to do is sell off a batch of Crank and he and Christy will be set until he can find a legal way to make money, but when he goes out to do the delivery, Danny sends a couple of thugs to go to Goose’s place to kill him. Finding Christy home alone, the thugs proceed to beat her to death instead. Goose is distraught and hits rock bottom, but once he gets himself back together, he knows he must seek revenge on the people who killed Christy.
Deadbeat at Dawn has to have one of the most interesting histories of any film ever made. To see if he could get any interest from a distributor, Van Bebber shot what would become the last forty minutes of the film and took it to New York. Getting some encouragement from a distributor, he took the film back to Ohio and raised money to shoot the opening to the film. Taking the film back to New York, he found that the distributor had folded so he took the film across the street and sold it for viewing on the grind house and drive in circuit. The whole film, which Van Bebber described as a “simple revenge kung fu film”, was made on a budget of less than $10,000.
While the lack of funding may show through, the amount of heart that Van Bebber put in the film makes up for the lack of polish, and there are plenty of unpolished areas in this film. The acting is terrible from Van Bebber on down, but that’s not to say it’s not plenty of fun. The shining star of the affair has to be Danny’s thug Bonecrusher played by Marc Pitman. His soliloquy on hating people is one of the best unintentionally humorous scenes in movie history, and it ends in the infinitely quotable line, “I’m the best motherfucker you’ve ever seen, man!” If you can watch that scene and not be having a good time, then it may be that your heart is two sizes too small.
While the acting may not win any awards, I have to give it up for the effects and stunt work in film. The shots of gore are really well done considering that Van Bebber had very little to work with, and there’s a scene with a rotting corpse near the end of the film which is both well done and incredibly disturbing. The really amazing part is the stunt work in the film. All the stunts were done by Van Bebber, and I don't know how he wasn’t killed while being chased by cars, repelling from a building, or jumping off a dam. Not only are they death defying and well done, I have to have respect for a man with the cahones to take so many chances.
I’m not just talking about the stunts, but in making the film itself, he took a major chance. Now I want you folks to take a chance. Deadbeat at Dawn is an extremely entertaining film. Sure one part Death Wish, one part The Warriors, and mixed up with a generous helping of low budget cheese, but that’s what makes the film so great. I can’t recommend this film enough. If you haven’t seen it, see it soon. It may not be the “best motherfucker you’ve ever seen”, but it’s pretty damn good.
Bugg Rating
At the other end of the financial spectrum was Paul Verhoeven’s Robocop. While Verhoeven’s little indie film had a budget of more than five times that of Deadbeat at Dawn, it was still an indie financed by Orion Pictures which had a distribution deal with Warner Brothers Studios. Robocop originally was conceived by writer Edward Neumeier who got the idea after asking a friend what the film Blade Runner was about. When his friend told him it was about “a cop who chases robots”, Neumeier immediately was inspired to write a film about a “robot cop”. Pairing with writer Michael Miner, the pair crafted the tale and tried to shop it around Hollywood.
It eventually landed in the lap of Dutch director Verhoeven who had only recently made his U.S debut with the Rutger Hauer film Flesh & Blood in 1985. Verhoeven originally thought the script was just trash and treated it as such, throwing it away, but his wife rescued it from the bin and convinced him that the film was far more substantial than he originally thought. All I can say is God bless Mrs. Verhoeven because Robocop is one hell of a film.
I’m sure most of you have already seen this flick at least once if not several times, but just in case anyone hasn’t, let me run down the plot for you. In the future, Detroit has become a haven for criminals and the cops have no chance of keeping up with the vast array of crimes being perpetrated. The city decides to bring in Omni Consumer Products to take over the police force and, at first, they field the idea of the ED-209 law enforcement droid. When the ED-209 is brought to a board meeting, it malfunctions and takes out one of the executives. Junior executive Bob Morton thinks that it’s high time to try out his “Robocop” program instead. When Officer Alex J. Murphy is gunned down by a vicious gang lead by Clarence Boddicker (Kurtwood Smith), he is brought to the hospital and becomes the first candidate to become a cyborg cop. Murphy begins to clean up the street, but when Morton is killed by Boddicker’s gang (in the employ of one of OCP’s senior executives), the Robocop must overcome his own programming to get at the real criminals running Detroit.
Robocop is undoubtedly one of my favorite action flicks, and it's one I’ve returned to time and time again. The film just has everything, action, explosions, humor, gore, and even that substance that the lady Verhoeven saw. Robocop works on themes of power, greed, and the buildup of corporate influence in governmental agencies. All of these are themes that still ring as true now as they did in 1988, but the rise of corporate influence is perhaps the portion that is the most important. The film questions the choice to turn over a public agency to an entity that has a bottom line to maintain. In recent years, the headlines have been full of examples of the government outsourcing its responsibilities to companies with disastrous effect, and if they had just taken a lesson from Robocop then they could have saved a lot of time and money.
In the end, Robocop remains hopeful. Thanks to the incredible performance from Peter Weller, the character of Murphy is able to overcome his programming and regain his humanity. The corporation tries to dehumanize him, but no matter how much of his human body they stripped away, the human spirit could not be overcome. Weller handles the role perfectly, and I always enjoy seeing the Murphy character slowly regain a sense of self over the course of the film. It was a role that Weller put not only his acting skill behind, but his body as well. The Robocop armor was incredibly bulky, and Weller has stated that he lost as much as three pounds a day wearing it. It all pays off in the end with a role that is both memorable and nuanced.
While Weller is great and the corporate stooges may be the overwhelming “big bad”, Kurtwood Smith steals the show as the human baddie Clarence Boddikker. Smith is so damn charismatic throughout, and watching him sleaze his way through the film is almost as fun as watching the Robocop blow up a gas station. One thing that always strikes me is how the actors who played Boddikker’s gang are all actors went on to play jerks on TV. You’ve got Ray Wise who would go on to play Laura Palmer’s dad on Twin Peaks and Satan on Reaper, Paul McCrane who was consistently an asshole on ER, and of course Smith is best known now for being grumpy dad Red Forman on That ’70’s Show.
Robocop is a film that just never gets old. Each time I find myself pleasantly surprised at how much I enjoy it. So I hope you folks enjoyed checking out my thoughts on these two indie action flicks from the good old year of 1988. They just don’t make films like this anymore, and that’s a shame. So instead of going out to check out what remake is hitting the screens or what CGI mess is looking all flashy, take some time to sit down with a couple of flicks that deserve your attention.
Bugg Rating
Tomb of Forgotten Film: Hands of Steel (1985)
I want to give credit where credit is due. Tonight’s film is one I never would have heard of if it wasn’t for The Gentlemen’s Guide to Midnite Cinema. The Gentlemen’s Guide is a weekly pod cast devoted to all kinds of cult film and hosted by Big Willie and The Samurai, and back in episode 12 they reviewed this forgotten classic. I think it was Big Willie who had found a video tape copy of the film and from their review alone, I knew this was one I wanted to see. But how? This Sergio Martino effort was out of print and unless I found a copy on tape then I was out of luck.
It was a few weeks later when the Gentlemen’s Guide hipped me to something else which was very cool, Cinema de Bizarre. Before they could even broadcast the first show with their discount code, I had already rushed over and made a purchase. Then a couple of weeks later they made an important announcement. CdB had obtained an incredible, crystal clear, widescreen version of the movie. I was elated, and I still am. So, I shot off an e-mail to CdB HQ, and he hooked me up with a copy. With that out of the way, I can bring you the film itself. If you only ever see one film about a cyborg assassin getting involved in the world of roadhouse arm wrestling, then see…
Hands of Steel [Italian: Vendetta dal futuro] (1986) starring Daniel Greene, John Saxon, George Eastman, Janet Argen, Claudio Cassinelli, Darwyn Swalve. Directed by Sergio Martino.
Paco Queruak (Greene) is an assassin working for an evil foundation which seeks to take over the political structure of America. The foundation has poured tons of resources into Paco’s training, education, and body over the years, and now he is sent on his first mission as the perfect cyborg assassin. He is to seek out the extremely popular head of the reigning political party, Rev. Arthur Mosley, and dispatch him. Paco gets to the man with no problem and kills him with a swift blow from his robotic hands. Or at least he thinks that Mosley is dead. Paco has to make a hasty departure and escapes into the Arizona desert.
After wandering for a while, Paco finds a bar owned by Linda (Argen) and offers to help around the place in exchange for a place to stay. He soon finds that while the bar is quiet by day, at night, it comes alive when passing truckers stop by for beers and to do a little arm wrestling. Paco soon faces neighborhood tough guy, Raoul (Eastman), and wins the match handily. Raoul soon brings in the tri-state champion to face Paco in a match where the loser will be bitten by a poisonous snake. Little does Paco know that the head of the foundation, Mr. Turner, and his hit men are out to punish Paco for failing his mission. They will stop at nothing to take out the killing machine they created, but Paco has had a taste of freedom and no longer will he be any man’s slave.
The Bugg Picture
So there have been some great films that feature arm wrestling….well, I take that back. There’s been Over the Top, which I enjoy buy most do not, but while arm wrestling plays a minor part in Hands of Steel, it is those scenes that will stick with you long after you see the film. I was again pleasantly surprised to find a film which was as good as the hype around it (however insular that hype had been), and while many of the stylistic elements which gave Martino’s earlier films such an appeal are gone, there is much to like from the script, cast, and director. I’m going to go ahead and talk about the script for a second because while I loved it there is little I need to say. Hands of Steel is well paced, and its characters fairly well rounded for this type of film. While its cyborg plotline might well have been written to cash in on the success of 1984’s The Terminator. Some of the elements of the humanization of the cyborg character are more reminiscent of films which followed it such as T2 and Robocop.
As for the cast, most of these people are familiar to fans of Italian cinema by reputation alone. First, though, a moment about The Saxon. Just a glance at John Saxon’s resume yields titles such as Nightmare on Elm Street, The Glove, The Last Samurai, Pelts, and The Girl Who Knew Too Much. John plays the heavy here, and whether he’s in his palatial office, behind the controls of a helicopter, or trying to gun Paco down with a massive laser, Saxon's performance is pitch perfect. While the star of the film, Daniel Greene, has no where near the acting prowess of Saxon, Greene nevertheless carries the film quite well. While in any other flick his wooden acting might seem terrible, the man is a cyborg, his acting is not wooden it is so obviously made of steel! Though I must say for a man made of mostly cybernetic parts he seems awfully sweaty. Anyhow, Green, whose previous credits mostly included television roles, would go on top fill small roles is Arthur 2 and Elvira, Mistress of the Dark. These days Greene oddly enough seems to only pop up in cameo parts in the Farrelly brothers films. How Green and the Farrellys got hooked up I would love to know, but for now, it will have to remain a mystery.
As the credits continue to roll, there’s George Eastman. I’ve talked a ton about Eastman lately with my review of Absurd and Anthropophagus. Eastman had previously worked with Martino on his 1983 post-apocalyptic opus 2019: After the Fall of New York, and in Hands of Steel, he makes an appearance as Raoul, the sore loser. Eastman is wonderfully wild eyed, and his attempt to capture and derail Paco from taking on the local champ is one of the film’s shining sequences. Also the broad accent that is given to Raoul allows for some unintentional humor such as when he declares himself a "weeiner". Then there’s Claudio Cassinelli. The veteran actor, who had appeared in Fulci’s Murder Rock as well as Martino’s Big Alligator River and At the Mountain of the Cannibal God, sadly lost his life during the making of this film when a helicopter he was aboard crashed. Finally there is Janet Argen as the woman who wooed the cyborg’s heart. She was quite lovely in the film, but her dubbing sounded a bit like someone was trying to go for a Kathleen Turner huskiness. While I got used to it, at first I wondered if Paco was not the only character in the film with after market parts.
Martino has been a director that I have enjoyed since my first viewing of At the Mountain of the Cannibal God, and here he handles this action fare pretty well. As I stated before it was not as well shot as his earlier work although there were some shots of the desert locals that were very John Ford-esque. Martino was working here with long time cinematographer Giancarlo Ferrando, who paired with Sergio for some 35 films (as well as doing the same duties on Troll 2). I assume lower budgets, tighter shooting schedules, and differing genres may account for Hand’s of Steel’s lack of style, but it is pretty amazing to think that this film and a dazzling piece like Your Vice is a Locked Room and Only I Have the Key come from the same eye. All that being said, if I did not know the director or cinematographer’s work, then I would say this is a fine example or a workmanlike mid-80’s action effort.
Adding to the film is the sound track which was provided by Claudio Simonetti, the former keyboardist for the seminal Italian group Goblin. Naturally this means the soundtrack is synth heavy, but what else would you expect from an action movie from this era. There are a few really great tracks, and I have to add this one to the list of sound tracks that I wish I had. However, I would have to watch listening to it while driving, or I’m afraid I might get quite a few speeding tickets.
So it’s time I get around to parting words about Hands of Steel, and yet there is so much more I would love to tell you about. Darwyn Swalve and the “Indian style” arm wrestling match. The hit man and his Silent Bob style partner. The adventures of the cops and Dr. Peckinpah. The scene where the truckers egg on Paco to arm wrestle by giving him a note on toilet paper, and Paco replying with his own note on a piece of marble counter top he rips off. Yeah. It’s that kind of film. Once you see it you just want more and more folks to check it out. Some may scoff at my grade and think it quite high for a film like this, but for pure entertainment Hands of Steel is one of the best films out there. Sure it’s not Citizen Kane, but what Hands of Steel actually is is a piece of genre film that any lover of action or Italian cinema should own.
Bug Rating
The LBL Valentine's Day Special Presents Heartbeeps
Hello and welcome to the LBL Valentine’s Day Special. Today I want to talk about one of my favorite films of all time. Back when I was a wee Bugg, I caught this one at the dollar theaters several times. I mean I went like four or five times to see this film. It really left an impression on me, and for many years, I searched for the film without being able to find it. I finally found the title, and to my surprise, it starred none other than that man of many faces, Andy Kaufman. I've long been a fan of Andy’s. , both when I was a kid watching Taxi and as an adult when I discovered some of his more shall we say surreal work. This film shows yet another side of Andy in a role that many people probably would not think of him in. I want to say up front that this movie is a sentimental favorite of mine, so take my views on it with a grain of salt. This is the tale of how two robots and how they fell in love, had a baby, and an epic adventure. So sit back and enjoy my Valentine to a film called….
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Heartbeeps (1981) starring Andy Kaufman, Bernadette Peters, Randy Quaid, Kenneth McMillian, Christopher Guest. Directed by Alan Arkush.
When Val (Kaufman), a robot programmed to deal in stocks and bonds (with a specialization in lumber commodities), drops a trash bin on his foot, he is sent back to the factory for reconditioning. He is stored in a bay with Aqua (Peters), a party hostess robot. They begin to talk to each other and find they are very “mechanically compatible on many levels”. As they admire the view of the mountains in the distance, Val proposes they take a road trip to further his understanding of nature and beauty. Aqua agrees, and together with a comedian robot, Catskills, they escape into the woods.
The two warehouse workers (Quaid and McMillian) in charge of the robots must get them back or pay for the missing units; they pursue them, but they are not the only ones on their trail There is also a malfunctioning police robot, the Deluxe Crimebuster 07001 (voice of Ron Gans who did the voice of Drag Strip in the Transformers cartoon), which has overheard about the escape and breaks free to enforce the law. As the trio travel though the woods, they build a helper robot, Philco, to help them cart along supplies. As they travel, Val and Aqua begin to have a deeper understanding of love and human emotion. When they must travel to the factory to make modifications for Phil, will their batteries hold out or will the pair be separated forever?
Film Facts
--Director Alan Arkush was the writer/director behind Rock and Roll High School. He also directed the cult film Deathsport.
--Bernadette Peters made this film between the Steve Martin/Christopher Walken musical Pennies from Heaven in 1980 and Annie in 1981.
--Due to poor response for this film, Andy Kaufman’s film The Tony Clifton Story was scrapped.
--Kathleen Freeman, Sister Mary Stigmata from The Blues Brothers, appears in a small role as a helicopter pilot.
--Jerry Garcia of the Grateful Dead provided the voice of baby robot Philco.
The Bug Speaks
I know, from many years of looking for this film (it is now readily available on DVD), Heartbeeps has been widely panned. Perhaps it's because it’s a sentimental favorite, but I always enjoy this film. It has the perfect blend of humor, drama, and genre cheese that appeals to me; it’s not just that though. On this day of all days, I have to give up my sensitive side and say that it’s the love story that really gets to me. The relationship that builds between the two robots has such a great dramatic arc. At the risk of sounding corny, they do in fact learn about what love is in a very tender way. The escaped robots and their robot “child” Philco really become a family. I especially like Catskills as the jokey, indulgent grandfather type character. Usually this type of sap doesn’t work for me, but when laced into a narrative like this, it hits all the right notes.
Kaufman and Peters do an excellent job acting even from under the thick layers pf prosthetics they wear. (The special effects were provided by none other than that master of movie magic Stan Winston.) The two actors are what really make the film work. The line delivery had to be just so or it would have come off terribly bad (and some think it did). Jack Carter who was the voice of Catskills has great timing as he delivers jokes written by none other than the king of the one-liners, Henny Youngman. The strangest piece of casting has to be Jerry Garcia providing the voice of Philco. I have looked around very hard to find out how he was connected with this movie with no luck. I would also love to know what he actually recorded as Phil (who looks a bit like Wall*E) because he speaks in a series of whistles and sounds.
The story itself is quite sweet, and it’s the perfect kind of film to sit down and watch with your valentine. My valentine is of course my beautiful and talented wife, Ms Directed, and I would have fallen for her even if we were both robots, camels, or phonebooks (hey, phonebooks have feelings too!). This film brings all the warmth into my heart that being with someone you love can bring. So I’m not going to rate this film because there is no way I could give it any kind of honest rating, but I will say this. It is an extremely well paced and very sweet movie, and unlike most of the fare that on the LBL, it is perfectly suitable for all ages. Therefore, if you like Kaufman, 80’s films, or sweet robots romancing, then check it out.
That’ll do it for today, and don’t worry, it’ll be back to the nasty business of horror, exploitation, and kicking ass next time we speak. Until then, take some time to spend with the one you love, and from me to all my loyal readers out there.....
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