Showing posts with label video games. Show all posts
Showing posts with label video games. Show all posts

Bloodrayne (2005): Glad I Packed My Bloodbrella

I thought more about not reviewing this movie than I ever had any movie before. Not only does it have a reputation as being quite bad, it has the Uwe Boll to back that up. Now I'm not saying that every Boll film is complete trash, but when the man adapts a video game, all bets are off. After making the masterclass in how to make a bad game flick with House of the Dead, Boll returned to console for a pair of big screen translations in the form of Alone in the Dark and today's film, Bloodrayne. Now, while I spent some time with a gamepad in my hand, I never got into the Tomb Raider games or their knockoffs. So I never encountered the vampire hunter Rayne in her original pixelated form. This means I have only a basic Wikipedia based knowledge of her exploits. This is both a good and bad thing. I won't spend eons dissing the movie for not adhering to the source material, but if there was anything redeemable about the character, once Boll's movie is done with her, there's a good chance I'll miss it.

Model turned actress Kristanna Loken, best known as the T-X from Terminator 3, stars as Rayne, a dhampir, the spawn of a human mother and vampire father. In this case, the living dead-beat dad is chief vampire baddie Kagan, Ben Kingsley slumming it. As the film begins, Rayne is the captive of a carnival sideshow, being fed animal blood to show off her "tricks". When she gets a hold of  some human blood, she goes batty killing off the other performers before escaping into the woods. Hot on her trail are two bands of riders. Vladimir (Micheal Madsen), Sebatian (Matthew Davis), and Katrine (Michelle Rodriguez) are vampire hunters and leaders of Kagan's opposition the Brimstone Society. They're out to keep Rayne away from Kagan's forces, lead by the creatively head shaved Domostir (Will Sanderson), before the vampire-in-chief can  get his hands on a powerful talisman that Rayne possess.

Thankfully, Bloodrayne was not a waste of my time. Why you might ask? Here's why..

That's right Michelle Rodriguez in an adventurer outfit entirely unsuited for swordplay. If nothing else in this movie was worth my time watching, then at least I had her screen-time to give me solace. Some people don't like her, those people are wrong. So there. Anyhow, to my great surprise, I actually ended up finding a few other things to like, but don't worry, it's not all a lovefest. I've still got a number of things to hate on. Now I won't even get into Uwe Boll's direction of the film. If you've seen any of his other movies, then you know what that's like. There's a workmanlike diligence to entertainment, and Boll is more than willing to throw in splattery violence, nudity, and just enough of a nonsense plot to get the job done. Bloodrayne hits this standard stride.

The fate of the film kind of falls to the actors, and unfortunately, while there were a couple of inspired performances, many of the players seemed like they were waiting on the check to clear. Much of the film falls on the shoulders of Kristanna Loken, and there's a reason that the T-X didn't have a huge speaking role. Loken, while pretty enough to look at and matches up pretty well to her video game counterpart, just never rallys the viewer into caring about her. She does doff her clothes in a sex scene with Matthew Davis, and many will find this the film's highlight. So it should be noted that the scene is supposedly not simulated, but as the actors as shot from waist up, it would be hard to determine if the only penetration in Bloodrayne came from fangs.

David, sporting an impressive mullet, is so milquetoast that i never had much interest in him either. On the other hand, his partner, played by Micheal Madsen, might have been there for the money, but his lackadaisical performance leads to a few good moments as Madsen plays Vladimir like the most laid back vampire killer since Blade got hooked on Hydrocodone. Rodriguez, apart from filling out her outfit, turns in the films best performance, but I imight be biased. Bloodrayne also gets a shot in the arm from Meat Loaf as a lecherous vamp surrounded by real Romanian hookers, Kingsley bringing a grand presence as Kegan, Udo Keir in a brief appearance as a monk, and Billy Zane in one of the world's worst hairpieces.

So was Bloodrayne a good movie that will inspire me to check out the two sequels that followed (both starring Norwegian actress Natassia Malthe replacing Lokan)? As the kids say these days, hell to the no. While I found myself entertained by Bloodrayne and thankful that the film keeps a pacy delivery the sped the movie along, it didn't inspire confidence that further movies would do more than rehash or rip off successful franchises like Underworld. However, as far as video game movies go, it was far from the worst I've ever seen. Even under the gentle hand of Uwe Boll, Bloodrayne manages to be better than Super Mario Brothers, Tekken, the Tomb Raider films, and Doom combined together. For some reason, the same stories that work on consoles never seem to exactly work on the silver screen as if the experience wouldn't translate if the viewer didn't have a gamepad in their hand. Someday, there will be a video game film that does the same thing The Dark Knight did for comic books, prove that the source material can become a viable artistic vision across mediums. Until then, well, I surely won't say we've got Bloodrayne, but it's there if you want to watch it and stuff.

Bugg Rating

Joysticks (1983): Greydon Clark Gets Next

As the road to Horrorhound Weekend draws me ever closer too my destination, I am still scrambling to catch up on the work of many of the guests. Today I want to talk about a very special attendee, Graydon Clark, who is being brought in by the fine folks at Cashiers du Cinemart, the magazine and online cult film resource which has so often championed Clark’s Black Shampoo as one of the best films of all time. While I can’t go that far for Black Shampoo (I do love it though and can’t wait to have my classic clamshell case signed.), I’ve always been a fan of Graydon’s work no matter if you’re talking about his acting in films like 1969’s Satan’s Sadists or his direction of flicks like Satan’s Cheerleaders or The Return. However there’s so many I haven’t had time to see. One such, the rare Without Warning, I will finally get to see at HHW with Mr. Clark in attendance, but one I’ve had sitting around the house for ages without getting to it, the 1983 Arcade-sploitation flick, Joysticks.

If you ask Joseph Rutter (top billed Joe Don Baker) they’ve got trouble, oh they’ve got trouble, right here in River City! Trouble with a capital "T" that rhymes with "V" and stands for Video Games. With Jefferson Bailey (Scott McGinnis) left in charge of the Video Arcade while his grandfather, the owner, is out of town, it’s become more popular than ever. All the River City teens; boy and girls, punks and nerds, and jocks and dweebs, are spending too much time in the arcade. This includes Mr. Rutter’s valley girl daughter, Patsy (Corrine Bohrer), who has begun to hang out in the Arcade (with the dreamy Jefferson Bailey) rather than go down to The Galleria. So Rutter, and his dim-wit nephews, try and put the arcade out of business, but their plans continue to backfire. It finally comes down to a test of skill, as Rutter employs punker King Vidiot (John Gris) to challenge Jefferson’s best player, Class President turned fat slob McDorfus (Jim Greenleaf) to a game of Super Pac-Man with the fate of the Arcade on the line.

In an interview with Mondo Video.com, Greydon Clark remembered the inspiration for Joysticks coming to him, “I was in San Antonio, Texas attending a “sneak preview” of  Wacko when the idea for Joysticks came to me. I saw a group of young people standing in line to play a video arcade game in the lobby of the theatre.  It was the first video arcade game I’d seen and I realized I could create a movie based around an arcade.  Most of my movies come from an idea that somehow snuck into my consciousness.” When Mr. Clark was beginning to make his film I was seven years old, and video games were very much a part of my consciousness. From games tucked into the corner of every convenience store and restaurant to the roller skating rink and the dim, smoky (yes, smoky) confines of my local Aladdin’s Castle, I was constantly on the search for a game to play. I wasn’t the only one. Only a year before “Pac Man Fever” had become a hit song and bookstores were crammed with guides on how to play and win at your favorite arcade games. Atari’s were a must have in all my friend’s homes, and so enraptured were we that the thought Nintendo would change everything only three years later was outrageous.

So with the country in such an upswing of video game fever, I’m surprised there weren’t more movies like Joysticks that took advantage of the latest craze. While there have been some since (The Wizard for example) or tangentially related (Cloak and Dagger), I can’t think of a single other title that found its inspiration in the Arcade. Another thing that surprised me is that I couldn’t Google up an instance where a real Arcade in the ‘80’s (or any other time) was protested. I feel certain it had to happen, but then again I may be looking at that through a modern lens where everything is quickly protestable. Actually, when I was trying to find something I searched every variation of “Video Game Arcade Protest”, and all that would stubbornly come up is a “video” from “Arcade Fire” about the Wisconsin “Protest”. (On a side note I would like to “Protest” anything having to do with “Arcade Fire”, but I digress.) When you get down to brass tacks, Joysticks is an ‘80’s “Save the…” film. Save the what? What’cha’ got? While usually the place in question is a Community or Rec Center, it could just as easily be a ski lodge, a sports program, or, yes, an arcade.

Joe Don Baker, who landed top billing as the protective father turned anti-video game crusader, hams it up effectively, clearly relishing his bad guy part. This was Joe Don’s second Greydon Clark film as well as his co-star, Scott McGinnis, both appeared in Wacko. McGinnis is enjoyable enough, but I didn’t find his preppy manager all that likable. The real stars are the weirdos, nerds, and punks. John Gris, who is best known now for his role as Uncle Rico in Napoleon Dynamite, takes over the film every time his punk rocker King Vidiot shows up. No matter if his Highness is riding his new wheels (a mini-bike) dancing around with his all female troupe of Vidiots, or trying to seduce one of  Rutter’s nephews in drag (long story) only to grab his junk and howl in pain when rejected, Gris is simply too much fun to watch.  Leif Green (whose biggest claim to fame is a role in Grease 2) entertains as Eugene, McGinnis’ nerd employee, and Jim Greenleaf, who shines as the arcade’s house champion and slob, might be recognized by the keen-eyed horror fan as Ox from the Clint Howard masterpiece Evilspeak.

Now I haven’t talked a whole lot about the film making itself, but let’s be honest, while Greydon has done some of the best and most original exploitation titles over the years, it’s hard to claim that the look of Joysticks is above average. His ideas, the entertainment value of his films, and the actors he chooses far outclass most cult films which is why so many of us love Greydon, but there’s little chance a viewer would walk away stunned by the visuals. However, when you think about his miniscule budget, and then weigh that against the settings and situations in the film, it’s clear he knows how to make a dollar look like two dollars. My point is this, watch Fellini for Fellini and watch Greydon Clark for Greydon Clark. If you want to have fun and watch a crazy film then check out anything Mr. Clark has to offer, you can’t go wrong, but if you want high art, then there’s plenty of that to be found elsewhere.

Probably my favorite moment in Joysticks comes when Joe Don’s Joseph Rutter drags Jefferson and crew in front of the town council in order to get the arcade closed down. This presentation includes a stern warning from a nurse that arcade games could cause “callus between the thumb and forefinger” and “Pac-Man Arthritis” not to mention the “germs all over the joysticks”. This, coupled with the football coach’s claim that “Video Games are worse than dope, booze, or women.”, reminded me so much of the outrageous claims about marijuana and in films like Reefer Madness and The Burning Question. This thread of classic original exploitation brought though fifty years of cult film and landing smack dab in the middle of Joysticks is one of my favorite things about the film. Greydon Clark is a name that’s been a mainstay in cult film since the 1960’s, but his films always continue the spirit of cult and exploitation film, from where they began to where they will go. (Is there any question Black Dynamite owes something to Black Shampoo?) Joysticks is another great example of this, and a title that any lover of off beat cinema should add to their “must watch” pile. After Horrorhound, I’m sure to have some thought about Without Warning to share with you, but until then let me put a quarter up ‘cause I got next play.

Bugg Rating