Whatcha Craven?: Invitation to Hell (1994)

Yesterday, I talked about Halloween parties in my review of Murder Party, and today I have another invite on the docket, but this time, it's to Hell! (Cue sinister organ music) When Daytime's Leading Lady and the Master of Horror collide for a Movie of the Week, the results are less celebratory than you'd want, but come along with me, and Punky Brewster, on an Invitation to Hell.

The Legacy (1978) Sam Elliott’s Supernatural ‘Stache

When I was picking out a Sam Elliot movie for Movemeber, I wanted to stay away from a lot of the obvious choices. So that meant that The Big Lebowski and Road House were stricken directly from consideration. I then looked to his Westerns where his mustache is always large and in charge, and despite having found one that stars Elliott with the mustachioed Tom Selleck called The Shadow Riders, it still wasn't really what I was looking for. I wanted something that I would enjoy watching and my wife would as well. For, if there is one thing I know for sure, it is that, should I shuffle off this mortal coil, there is a fair to middling chance that my wife might then take up stalking Sam Elliott in her spare time. Last night she said, and I quote, “Sam Elliot is the hottest brunette of all time.” This both spared my feelings (as she still considers my ever darkening hair to be blonde) and sent shock waves through the likes of Josh Brolin and Clive Owen who both thought they would be up for top honors. The film I eventually landed on was an obscurity from 1978 called The Legacy, and it was described to me as an “erotically charged thriller”. With the idea of erotic Sam Elliott in her head, my wife and I sat down to The Legacy last night, and at least one of us walked away happy (there was a shower scene after all.)

Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance (2012): Nic Cage is el Fuego

The last time we saw Nic Cage here at The Lair, everyone's favorite over-actor (that's not William Shatner) was on the run from the devil after escaping Hell in 2010's Drive Angry. What a difference a couple of years makes.... And a sequel for that matter. This time instead of avoiding Old Scratch, he's pursuing a headlong course right at him in the surprising sequel to 2007's Ghost Rider. After the fist film flopped, and for good reason, there was little hope that Cage could spin the character into a franchise, but with a pile of taxes to be paid, Cage has taken to appearing in a lot of unexpected films in the last few years. Somehow, he got Marvel Comics to go along with the idea for a second go at Johnny Blaze, enlisted the directors of Crank, signed on the scenarist of the Chris Nolan Batman films, and, perhaps most shockingly, made a movie that is pretty dang fun. I know this kind of tips my hand, but Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance is the type of film that is going to divide people right down the middle. One group will love the over-the-top acting and action, and the other might feel a little pissed. Hopefully not flaming pissed, but more on that later.

Santa Claus (1959): Satan. Santa. St. Nick. Old Nick.

When it comes to Christmas films, there are some pretty weird ones out there. I should know. I've spent every December for the last three years digging around for them. While other films revel in the dichotomy between the holiday and their subject matter, what sets today's feature apart is someone actually thought this freak show was appropriate for children.  Of course those folks were the same fine people that brought you several Santo Mexican wrestling movies, Night of the Bloody Apes, and The Aztec Mummy vs. the Humanoid Robot. You know, the classics. So come along with me to find out all about the children that Santa keeps captive, how Lucifer will stop at nothing to foil Santa, and where Merlin the Magician fits into all of this. Okay, that last part I may not be able to deliver on as I couldn't quite figure that out.

As the movie begins, Santa (Jose Elias Moreno) is preparing for Christmas. In order to know what children all over the world want for Christmas... well, maybe not all over the world (Sorry, Canada, Australia, Philippines, and Greenland. No toys for you.), he has a few kid helpers that live with him to help him out. I suppose the elves couldn't just do a little research for him. Meanwhile, in Hell, (There's something I never assumed I'd say in a Christmas movie review.) Lucifer dispatches Pitch (Jose Luis Aguirre), a minor devil, to turn all the children of the world evil and thus defeat Santa.  By all the children of the world, apparently Satan means five kids, three of which were pretty much evil little shits in the first place. The other two kids are Billy, a rich brat who gets things he wants but misses his parent's love, and Lupita (Lupita Quezadas), a poor girl who desperately wants a doll. With the help of Merlin, who lives with Santa in a space castle along with the children, Santa must avoid Pitch's traps to stop him if he is to deliver presents to all the world's children.

I'm not sure if that synopsis simplifies the plot of Santa Claus or makes it more complex. The film, drenched in startling Eastmancolor, is a strange a peculiar ride, and if it was filmed ten years later, I would have blamed it on the drugs. However, I can come up with no obvious scapegoat to blame this film on. Far and away more bizarre than the more well known Santa Claus vs. The Martians, director Rene Cardona, who helmed no less than six Luchador movies, trades in Santo for Santa, but he keeps the bizarre nonsense that makes the masked wrestler movies work so well. How do letters get to Santa in space? Through a special tube, naturally. How does Santa get all the kids of the world to  go to sleep? That's why he's got Merlin hanging around. How many children does Santa keep in his castle and where do they come from? Ok, so they didn't answer all the questions, but they did manage to fit in some copyright infringement on Disney (Santa says, "A dream is a wish your heart makes.") that somehow slipped by Uncle Walt. I also have to mention that Santa has a computer that talks with lips. Yeah, human like lips. So creepy.

Creepy is the order of the day after all. Jose Elias Moreno's Santa literally wont stop laughing, and he's only out creepied by an animatronic version of Santa in a department store window. Everything Moreno does makes Santa come off stranger and stranger. I mean he approves a kid's wish list that includes a machine gun. Jose Luis Aguirre is all mincing energy as the devil Pitch. As if Santa wasn't odd enough, Pitch romps around trying to corrupt a handful of children and his ultimate plan involves trapping Santa in a tree. None of which really add up to that much deviltry. There's not much to say about Merlin as played by Armando Arriola, but the character's appearance here is the second strangest place I've ever seen the wizard. (Sorry, Armando, but the title still belongs to Ringo Star's Merlin in Son of Dracula.) The only redeeming performance in the film comes from Lupita Quezadas as the poor girl who wants a doll. She's so heartrendingly sad looking I feel like before she filmed every scene they must have taken away every doll she ever owned. Strangely, she gives the film an emotional center that shines despite the bizarre goings-on, something I never would have expected to find here.

Santa Claus is not a movie I would show a kid. That is unless I wanted to threaten them that creepy Santa will kidnap them, keep them in a castle, and have his personal wizard put them to sleep anytime he wants. (Strangely,Jerry Sandusky thinks this sounds great.) I can imagine that a good number of baby boomers who  saw this as a kid had a nightmare about a ceaselessly chuckling Santa sucking them up into space and feeding them to a compute. Honestly, I might have a nightmare or two about that thing. For cult movie fans, Santa Claus is a must see because there is absolutely nothing out there quite like it. Luckily, it's really easy to get a copy. For those of you with Netflix, it's on Instant Watch, but for those without, you're not left without. This baby is in the public domain, and there's a pretty nice copy over on Internet Archive you can download or, more conveniently,  you can just stream it from where I've embedded it below. I can't believe that I waited this long to catch up with this one, and it definitely belongs on the 'NICE' list... okay, maybe the 'WEIRD but NICE' list, like the kid who wanted the machine gun.

Bugg Rating

The Halloween Top 13: The Devil Made Me Do It #11: Evilspeak (1981)

I don't trust people who don't like Clint Howard. I just don't. I've tried to make amends with it, tried to find some kind of peace, but I can't. There's something inherently wrong at the moral and genetic center of any individual who dismisses Ron Howard's brother as merely a footnote in Austin Powers lore. Those people are missing something inside. Something deep and meaningful, the part of them that could enjoy Ice Cream Man, that would know that Eaglebower was the coolest person in Rock and Roll High School, and would have already seen Silent Night, Deadly Night 4... and 5. I feel terrible for those folks. Not just because they're not fully formed people, but also because they won't enjoy #11 on the Halloween Top 13: The Devil Made Me Do It because I can't go any further into this list without speaking on this Clint Howard film. In fact, I might just Evilspeak on it.


Stanley Coopersmith (Clint Howard) is an outcast among the cadets at the American Military Academy. An orphan, Stanley is used to spending time alone, but with no friends to speak of, unless you count the four cadets that tease him unmercifully as friends, he sinks into a very dark place. Constantly coming out on the wrong side of things, he often finds himself doing hours of punishing chores. While cleaning out the church basement, he finds a book written by Father Esteban (Richard Moll), a priest turned Satan worshiper, who details how to perform a black mass to summon forth the devil. Stanley begins to work toward getting the ingredients together for the mass, but when the four bullies kill his puppy, he throws things into high gear. Fulfilling all the requirements and feeding them into his computer, Stanley calls forth his revenge, but at what price.

Looking into Evilspeak, I felt like there was somewhere I had heard the name 'Stanley Coopersmith' before, but I couldn't place it and I didn't see any obvious references. A quick search reminded me that there was a Psychologist named Stanley Coopersmith who, in 1967, identified the link between self-esteem and frailty. As he explained it, "in children domination, rejection, and severe punishment result in lowered self-esteem. Under such conditions they have fewer experiences of love and success and tend to become generally more submissive and withdrawn (though occasionally veering to the opposite extreme of aggression and domination)" It can come as no mistake that Howard's character, a young man whose self-esteem as been so battered, bruised, and broken that he has falls into that "occasional" group Dr. Coopersmith describes in the end of the quote. His need for revenge and dominance also fits into to the mold of LeVay Satanism as well which venerates the individual above all, self indulgence by all means, and an eye for an eye when it comes down to it. Howard's Stanley is the only sympathetic character in the film (seriously there are no good guys so don't be looking for a white hat to save the day or Stanley to change his course), but he is a deeply hurt, flawed individual who makes some interesting life choices.

For my dollar, Howard has never been better. While I love Ice Cream Man and his role in his brother's film Eat My Dust, Evilspeak gives Howard a chance to play a wide emotional range. Here's a guy who plays the victim and the heavy all in one film, and even though he's planning to summon Satan to kill everyone, somehow still manages to be likable. I chalk it up to the Howard charm. While I'm on actors, let me mention a couple of others. Richard Moll (Night Court's Bull) was only in the film briefly as Father Esteban, but his image runs throughout the film leaving quite an impression. R.G. Armstrong who plays the Sarge will probably ring a bell with anyone (like me) whose seen Children of the Corn recently as playing the unhelpful gas station attendant in that film. Haywood Nelson of What's Happening? fame (he played Dwayne) shows up here as the one kid who tries to stick up for Stanley. Don Stark who plays the head bully Bubba put on a few pounds over the years and ended up the curly haired Bob Pinciotti on That 70's Show. Charles Tyner, Cool Hand Luke's prison guard, keeps the boys of the AMA in check as Colonel Kincaid, and for the oppsite end of the spectrum, Ox is played by Jim Greenleaf who played Jonathan Andrew McDorfus in that film to end all arcade films, Joysticks.

This was the first film for director Eric Weston, and though I haven't seen any of his other films (the latest being a suspiciously SyFy looking offering about shape shifting Hyenas), I somehow suspect Evilspeak may be his crowning moment. Somewhere back in time, the script had been called The Foundling by screenwriter Joseph Garofalo . Working with Weston, he tightened up the script and added the computer elements to the story. The tech elements added to the story is what makes it really stand out. With plenty of 8 bit graphics on display, Weston mined the Satanic imagery, which looked like an Arcade Game designed by Bill Graham on the brown acid, perfectly adding an extra layer of mystery. This was after all 1981. For all anyone knew, Satan could come right through a computer, and he doesn't need broadband to do it. Mixing the supernatural and the technological makes for an interesting parallel. While most of us don't know how computers work, we accept it. However, the supernatural, which like the functions of computers often are out of sight, is dismissed summarily. Having Stanley use the new technology  to enhance the old magic bridges a gap between Esteban and Stanley, and predicts that yesterday's Satanic book may be tomorrow's Devilish webpage. 

Evilspeak is a revenge fantasy. What is different about it compared to films like Thriller or Death Wish is that while we see Stanley's tormentors as total douches, it's hard to justify being killed for it. Evilspeak does not temper its message. There's no moment when Stanley realizes what he's done and tries to fix it. He completes his plan, and depending what you take from the film's coda, he took the repercussions that went with it as well. On the surface, Evilspeak is a darkly comic film about a nerd that goes off the deep end for revenge, but there's more going on here. There is so little in the film to hinder Stanley and his actions. It all comes off like the wet dream of a kid with Columbine aspirations. While the gore doesn't put me off, it did put the film on the Video Nasties list in the UK, but it could have just as well been on there for content. Evilspeak has something of a nihilistic slant about people, and upon reflection, seems much darker than when the events were playing out.

That bring us to the just and honorable conclusion of this edition of The Halloween Top 13: The Devil Made Me Do It. I hope you've enjoyed the past three days of films, and get ready because tomorrow starts the Terrifying top 10 and I've got some Hella great stuff waiting for you.

Bugg Rating

Halloween Top 13: The Devil Made Me Do It #13- Drive Angry (2011)

There's a lot of chatter about Drive starring Ryan Gosling as a cooler than cool getaway driver, but this is the start of The Halloween Top 13 and I'm not about to let it get cool in The Lair one bit.That's because for 13 days I'm going to be turning up the heat on all the demons, devils, possessions, and Armageddon-esque action right up until Halloween. Welcome everyone to The Halloween Top 13: The Devil Made Me Do It. While Drive might be the the most talked about car film this year, if Satan's on your tail, good looks and a satin jacket are not going to be enough. You're going to need to get mad, you're going to have to be mean, you're going to have to get angry. You're going to have to hire Nicolas Cage, give him crazy blonde hair, and send him on a mission. Something like escaping from Hell in a car to track down a cult of Satanists looking to bring about Hell on Earth by killing your granddaughter. It just so happens that someone did just that, and coming in at #13 on the countdown, is 2011's Drive Angry.

It all begins when John Milton (Cage) escapes from hell in a car... stop me if you've heard this one. There is more. He makes an unlikely alliance with Piper (Amber Heard), an alluring blonde waitress with a tricked out ride,  gets perused by the Accountant (William Fichtner), Satan's retrieval service, and gets ever closer to Jonah King (Billy Burke), the leader of the cult. Along the way, Milton kills a an incredible number of badguys in a style I could only compare to 2007's Shoot 'Em Up. (Like that film Drive Angry seems aware of its format without being too coy and cloying about it.) Along the way, Milton gets help from his friend Webster (David Morse), goes toe to toe with the police captain (Tom Atkins), and shoots about fifteen guys while smoking a cigar, drinking jack, and having sex. And I do mean at the same time. Life out of Hell is no bed of roses, and this Milton is not about to let Paradise get lost. (Ok, his granddaughter's name wasn't Paradise, but wouldn't that have been great.)

So I bet there's a few confused looks out there. Well let me clear a few things up. I exclude any title I've reviewed before on The LBL from being chosen for the countdown. That means there's some big titles that I have to leave off, and some I've avoided that I finally get to talk about. I also get to have some fun, and folks, I'm here to tell you that Drive Angry  is a lot of fun. It's the perfect kind of flick to throw on when you have some friends over to carve a pumpkin or before you go out to a haunted house. It's exciting, it's got a fair amount of splatter (though the "Filmed in 3D " look detracts from this a great deal.), and it's got Nic Cage running from the Devil in an assortment of classic cars. Now I don't know a manifold from a marigold, but I know awesome cars when I see them. Drive Angry takes a couple of pages from the 70's grindhouse, the car flick, the revenge film, the Satanic Cult, and a generous helping of nudity, balls them all up, and lights them on fire.

Now a few words on Nic Cage. There's going over the top. That's, say, Adam West or Shatner. Then there's going Nic Cage. Which means going over the top and then you just keep going until someone calls cut. I'm so glad they didn't. Cage doesn't as much chew the scenery as devour everything around him. It took all of Amber Heard's sexual charms to even make her blandly named character Piper memorable. Actually that's not fair, the All the Boys Love Mandy Lane actress proves to be a strong, capable foil for Cage without any romantic overtones necessary. Still this is Cage's movie, that is until William Fichtner shows up. The character actor, who was seen recently on Entourage, has never been better. As The Accountant, Satan's agent on Earth, Fichtner gives off a quiet menace that he proves to be able to backup. (Don't try and sneak up on The Devil's tight bro with a bat.) While Cage is the whirling dervish in this film, Fichtner is the calm in the center of the storm. The Accountant also serves to remind us that demons are not always bad, as long as it all ends up their way.

Director Patrick Lussier impressed me a few years back with a reasonable remake of My Bloody Valentine though once again the 3-D filming detracts from the enjoyment of the home viewer. His next project is picking up the reins of the Halloween franchise, and here's to hoping he can leave Michael Myers in 2 dimensions. Drive Angry sets itself apart by neither taking itself too seriously or trying to become a cult movie by force. In doing so, Lussier has created a film that deserves any cult that it gets. That is unless that cult is looking to steal a baby to bring about Hell on Earth. Because then they'll have to answer to Nic Cage with the pedal to the metal, and no one wants that. Except me, in the sequel.

That brings us to the end of #13. Join us back here tomorrow for #12 on the countdown, and remember if you want to be a part of The Halloween Top 13: The Devil Made Me Do It, then send me your list of favorites to thelightningbug (@) charter.net. Before I go, let me direct your attention back to the top of the page to the awesome banner. That was custom made for me by my friend V. Daniel Leslie, and I can't thank him enough for a job well done!

Bugg Rating 

Nude for Satan (1974): or, Buck Nekkid With Beelzebub

Right off the bat, let me say, Spoiler Alert. There are people in this film, basically all of them, who are completely nude and generally for Satan. To be honest, I don't know if I've ever seen so much nudity in a film that wasn't straight up porn, and it came as no surprise to me that the Dutch version is rated XXX with hardcore pornography inserts. Nude for Satan (Nuda per Satana) is the best known film of Italian director Luigi Batzella, who also directed the holier sounding spaghetti western God is My Colt .45. Debuting in the early '70's when Gothic horror was still en vogue, Batzella's film melds the Gothic with the straight up exploitative and then tosses on a sheen of Bava-lite trappings to top it off. It is not the kind of film to put on if you want to follow a terse, complex plot or even if you're expecting a mystery. Nude for Satan is more of a decent into madness and depravity, more concerned with mood (creepy or horny alternating) than with story.

Nude for Satan begins when Dr. Benson (Stelio Candelli, Planet of the Vampires, Demons) crashes his car on the side of the road. While getting out to inspect the damage, another car crashes behind him and Susan (Rita Calderoni, Delirium) spills out injured from her car. Collecting the young lady, Dr. Benson goes to a nearby house to ask for help. When no one answers the door, the doctor begins to poke around inside where he encounters a doppelganger of Susan, now calling herself Evelyn, and she believes him to be a man named Peter. The next morning, Susan, not looking like she spent the night passed out in a car, arrives at the mansion and is met by a mysterious green eyed man (James Harris). He invites her to stay, and after a bath, Susan meets Peter who looks like Dr. Benson and thinks she's Evelyn. If you didn't follow that, don't worry, the characters have a hard time keeping up too. Eventually the real Dr. Benson and Susan meet up, and between floggings, scenes of stocking fetishism, and one really horny paper-mache spider, they attempt to make their escape. They soon begin to suspect that their host is in fact The Devil, and they've been nude for him all along.

Despite the exploitation trapping, the fake spiders, and the Gothic overtones, Nude for Satan attempts to be an exploration into the depths of the human soul and psyche. Now it does it with an equal precision of The Devil in Miss Jones (1973) while trying to play like it's Ken Russell's The Devils, but it's armchair metaphysics are the glue that hold the film together. Well, that and an overabundance of boobs. Ladies will not find that the favor is reciprocated, and even when it is I can't imagine Stelio Candelli or James Harris being any one's idea of beefcake. In the end, whatever meaning Batzella might have been trying to shoehorn into his film was far overshadowed by the fact that it ends with a 10 minute slow motion lesbian makeup session which only gets weirder when The Devil summons a couple of NFL super fans in thongs to join the party. There is something a bit Rocky Horror about the whole film, as giving yourself over to absolute pleasure seems to be the name of the game. It also follows a couple of innocents as they delve into sexual perversion that culminates in a floor show. If only Satan's creepy butler had rebelled, we'd really have something.

None of the actors really stand out though Stelio Candelli does do an excellent job grounding the film. Rita Calderoni does a smashing job being nude throughout, and she has a few scenes that really work. James Harris, who had a brief and undistinguished career, is quite menacing as the man from the pits of Hades, and he really steals most of the movie away from the main menaced couple. Renato Lupi made for a great Devil's butler, and he reminded me a bit of Roland Topor in Werner Herzog's Nosferatu the Vampyre. Cinematographer Antonio Maccoppi had clearly been influenced by the early work of Mario Bava, and the sets are awash with colored gels. Nude for Satan also features a swinging score to go along with its literal swinging, and Alberto Baldan Bembo would go on to score the films The Gestapo's Last Orgy and Black Deep Throat (surprisingly not a porno, bu an exploitation film about an investigative reporter uncovering a cult.)

Nude for Satan is really a film that will only interest Italian movie junkies, exploitation hounds, or people for which being nude for Satan sounds enticing. While I found the film interesting and I found it hard to look away lest I miss something absurd, I highly doubt there's any re-watchability here. I can't see me on a weekend afternoon popping in Nude for Satan for a few laughs. However, if you're like me and you love to see what those nutty Italians put in their films, then this is a can't miss rental. Running at a light 87 minutes, Nude for Satan doesn't have time to mess about. It's got to get these people naked and start into messing with their minds and their bodies. If an idle mind is the devil's playground, then this idle film must be like an amusement park.

Bugg Rating 

Hell's Highway (2002): Caution: Satan's Work Ahead

From 1984 to 1989, Micheal Landon ruled the airwaves as an Angel traveling America's byways to lend a helping hand in Highway to Heaven. That series ran for five years and contained no less than 225 heartwarming moments (plus or minus an 'Awww' or two.) It took only 79 minutes for Hell's Highway to undo all the good that wholesome entertainment provided. Now to be fair with Hell's Highway, I went into it expecting another film entirely. I had it in my mind it was the 1991 film Highway to Hell that I recalled reading about in an ancient Gorezone. So after the opening scenes wherein I realized that this movie was an '02 indie and not Ate De Jong's take on Hermes and Persephone. What I didn't expect was that in such a short running time, with my expectations as low as they could get, and my cynicism toward low budget movies of the last twenty years flaring up, I would actually enjoy my trip down Hell's Highway.

The film kicks off with a group of college aged kids driving across t he country (extensively racing another load of kids to California), but things start to go badly when they ignore the fist rule of any horror movie survivor and pick up a hitchhiker named Lucinda (minor scream queen Phoebe Dollar She seems like a normal girl around their age, but soon enough she's claiming to be the devil and threatening to put a bullet in her uterus. The group manages to push her out of the car, but finds themselves ruthlessly stalked by Lucinda. At every turn she is there, and no amount of dragging her body behind a car or shooting her seems to help. The kids soon start the believe that Lucinda may well be the Devil and they might already one residents of Hell.

Hell's Highway was director Jeff Leroy's fifth film, and I'll have to be honest. While I've laid eyes on a number of his DVD boxes, I've never really caught his name before. From the description, the plot seems predictable and trite, however the film takes a cleaver twist which saves the weak premise. It also gets a shot in the arm from Phoebe Dollar's performance which anticipates Sherri Moon Zombie's performance in House of 1000 Corpses and The Devil's Rejects. Dollar's psycho turn is menacing and effective drawing from equal parts Edwin Neal's Texas Chainsaw hitchhiker and a gleefully demented Russ Meyer girl. Though she appears in less of the film's total running time than any of the other actors, she's the only one that leaves any impression on me upon reflection.

The effects in Hell's Highway are solid interpretations of classic effects, and the body dragging behind the car is worth the hour and change alone. There's also a dynamite model sequence, pun untended.  The greatest strength of Leroy's film might be brevity, shave another couple of minutes and it fir nicely into an anthology series. The director suffered an injury during the filming of Hell's Highway, and naturally it was burns. He had dabbled into the affairs of the horned one below, and suffered the consequences. I guess it proves that if you can stand the heat, you might just cook up a little something in the kitchen. Oh ,also, Ron Jeremy gets his dick cut off. How many horror movies have something to do with the man being somehow separated from his wang? Seriously.  A lot.

Bugg Rating

Check out the short doc The Curse of Hell's Highway

The Burning Corpse (Weird Magazine, Feb 1972)

Hey folks here's a little devilish treat from the pages of Weird Magazine. It's a great little tale and serves for a reminder that I still need more lists for the ever impending Halloween Top 13: The Devil Made Me Do It. Follow the link to find out how you can take part!

Deadly Doll's Choice: Brotherhood of Satan (1971)

Whenever I hear about a “Brotherhood”, it’s never a good thing. So often it’s followed by Blood or Evil Mutants. (“Sisterhood” on the other hand conjures images of roaming trousers.) Googling “Brotherhood of Satan” for instance, the top search result is the official Brotherhood of Satan website complete with admission application. I declined to answer the litany of questions like, “If you have any Background with Satanism please summarize your experience in the field below.” and “How do you think the Brotherhood will benefit from your membership?”, but I have to admit that these guys know how to do evil. Nothing gives me chills like a few essay questions. The second result is the IMDB for today’s film, 1971’s Brotherhood of Satan., a surprising little film with the Devil appearing where he belongs, in the details.


Emily of The Deadly Doll’s House chose this film for me as part of our monthly movie swap, and all during February, she’s had a great ongoing event, Short Month, Short Killers focusing on the many diminutive murderers in the movies. So for my part of the swap, I chose for her the little person exploitation/western classic, The Terror of Tinytown. In return I got the one-two punch of eerie, evil children and creepy old people that is Brotherhood of Satan. The Southwestern town of Hillsboro is under the control of a coven of witches who’ve been kidnapping children. Their intent is to place their souls into the kids and renew their life, but there’s one tiny problem. There are only twelve kids in town. Then along comes Ben (Charles Bateman), his girlfriend Nicky (Ahna Capri), and Ben’s daughter K.T. (Geri Reischel). Soon enough K.T. gets snatched, and Ben has to pin his hopes on the town sheriff (L.Q. Jones), his deputy (Alvy Moore), and the kindly town doctor (Strother Martin) if he hopes to stop The Brotherhood’s diabolical plan.

Unlike The Devil’s Reign, Brotherhood of Satan doesn’t need the technical advice of Anton LaVey. Because who really needs advice when you’re making it up as you go along. Satanists are old witches who can summon tanks, make dolls cry, and control the minds of little children? Sure, sounds good to me, go. That’s exactly what this film does too. It doesn’t wait around and try to explain things. It lets the viewer connect the dots themselves as it continues to fly forth by the seat of its pants. Written by star/producer L.Q. Jones and TV scribe William Welch, the script is nothing to rave about. On the page, Brotherhood of Satan might have been a mildly better teleplay than you average Night Gallery episode. Somehow pairing this script with journeyman TV director Bernard McEveety added up to enough to call this a certified film. McEveety directs as if Flesh for Frankenstein was being made for the movie of the week. The strength of establishing character quickly is on display, but there’s also some real art house moments that add to the strangely suspenseful tale. Some of the thanks surely also goes to cinematographer John Arthur Morrill who would later capture another cult classic, Kingdom of the Spiders.

While the film’s stunningly strange look does Brotherhood of Satan a world of good, what really makes the film is the unique cast. Top billed is Strother “What we have here is a failure to communicate.” Martin, and without getting terribly spoilery, he deserves the top spot for his gleefully fun duel role. Martin was one of the stars of The Wild Bunch as was his co-star L.Q. Jones. Jones gives quite the performance as the town’s troubled lawman, but there was something about his hair in this film that made him look like he could have played Daniel Boone without a cap. Alvy Moore, who produced the film along with Jones, has little to do in the role of the deputy, but he exhibits the kind of good humor that made him so memorable as Hank Kimball on Green Acres and in dozens of other character roles. Ahna Capri (Enter the Dragon) and Charles Bateman make for an attractive, all-American kind of couple, and they along with Geri Reischel (I Dismember Mama) have a genuine chemistry that pulled me into the story.

Brotherhood of Satan was nothing like I expected. I thought it would have been a low rent piece of nonsense or perhaps at best an imposter Hammer film. Instead I was treated to a hidden gem full of devilish details that brought the film together. Plus, even though they never got around to killing, the kids were plenty freaky enough I doubt I’ll be stealing candy from a baby anytime soon. Unless the kid has really, really good candy, and I forget that I run the risk of angering The Brotherhood. There’s one thing that I won’t forget, and that’s to click on over to The Deadly Doll’s House and check out her thoughts on The Terror of Tinytown. In another month we’ll be back with another film swap, and it will be our second face to face swap, this time at Horrorhound Indianapolis!

Bugg Rating

The only clip I could find was a complete spoiler. So instead here's the song "Rivers of Blood, Years of Darkness" by My Life With the Thrill Kill Cult that takes samples from the film.

You Don't Know Shat!: The Devil's Rain (1975)

If I told you there was a movie that starred William Shatner, Tom Skeritt, Anton Levey, Eddie Albert, and Earnest Borgnine as the least threatening devil this side of Hot Stuff, you might just think that it’s something that I made up during a fever dream. Well, let me assure you, I don’t care how feverish I get Tom Skeritt is unlikely to pop into my head. The film I’m talking about, 1975’s The Devil’s Rain, is for real. This forgotten piece of Satanist cinema came to my attention because of an article about Anton Levey’s contributions to cinema, but what really caught my eye was the attachment of director Robert Fuest. Vincent Price fans will instantly recognize Fuest as the man behind the Dr. Phibes films, but they might be hard pressed to name another of his films. There’s good reason for that. After a thriller called The Final Programme and then The Devil’s Rain, Fuest fell into the abyss of TV directing.  It’s been said that The Devil’s Rain ruined him as a director, but I’m not sure that the blame should rest solely with Fuest. Who might be at fault? Well, could it be…Satan!

Satanist John Corbis (Ernest Borgnine) has one never-ending desire, a book of unending power, but it has been kept secret for centuries by the Preston family. When Mark Preston’s (William Shatner) father goes missing, the family is worried, but when he returns home, hollow eyed, to deliver a demand from Corbis before melting away, they become terrified. Mark takes matters, and the book, into his own hands and confronts Corbis at his Satanic church deep in the desert challenging the Satanic priest to a duel of faith. Mark loses the battle, and he becomes a prisoner of the cult. Mark’s brother Tom (Tom Skeritt), along with his wife Julie (Joan Prather) and psychic detective Sam Richards (Eddie Albert), try their best to save Mark, but their only chance is discovering the secret of the Devil’s Rain.


In 1975, when Roger Ebert reviewed this film, he didn’t have much nice to say. Perhaps the nicest thing he had to say was that film was “painfully dull”. This notion, and the idea that the plot was incoherent, was the common consensus among movie reviewers at the time. I can assure you that neither criticism will be appearing in this review. I might call the film “painfully silly” at moments and agree that some of Shatner’s acting style was incoherent, but overall, The Devil’s Rain was an interesting little film. Fuest clearly had a vision when he directed this film, and that vision surely seems like one imported from Italy. From the long, wide, barren shots of desert that bring to mind Sergio Leone to the rich color palette right out of Mario Bava’s toolbox, Fuest’s film seems awash in Italian influence.

Not only do the rich colors and incredible panoramas bring to mind Italian genre film, the plot (remember the incoherent mess) feels much more slanted toward an atmospheric tale than just a straightforward narrative. The mood of the film is oppressive, and it feels like pallor of doom hangs over the proceedings. Considering the film details a centuries old curse placed on a family by Satan’s ambassador to Earth, that stands to reason. Now, I don’t want to lead you folks to believe that this is a script that could rely solely on atmosphere to keep the film afloat; it’s not. For every interesting camera movement, well-lit, richly colored location, or atmospheric undertone, there are scenes full of trite dialog delivered with a range of skill from the actors.

Shatner himself is in full super-Shat mode, and he plays the role of the doomed son scarified to Satan to the hilt. If you ever needed to see how far over the top Shatner can go, merely check out the scene where his character Mark is crucified on an inverted cross during a Satanic ritual, and you’ll have all the information that you’ll need. As a Shatner fan, I still enjoyed William doing the broad thing, but this script would have benefited from a more reserved performance. On the other end of the spectrum is Tom Skeritt. The mustachioed actor looking like a cross between Sonny Bono and a walking butterfly collar, but his acting was on the mark. Skeritt holds the second half of the film together after Shatner’s character goes M.I.A for the conclusion of the picture. Eddie Albert also impresses and only when he first showed up did Green Acres enter my brain. I actually wished that his psychic investigator had been a slightly larger role.

The main event in The Devil’s Rain is really Satan incarnate, Ernest Borgnine. I’ve always kind of thought of Borgnine as a great tough guy actor or a solid supporting player, but it has never crossed my mind that he would be good at playing evil. Apart from the “menacing laugh”, that he punctuates too many sentences with, his portrayal of John Corbis is impressive. He definitely pulls off a menacing stature, and I almost have no reservations about his performance. I have to say almost because when he’s John Corbis, he’s great, but a puff of smoke later he might turn into a horned devil. That sounds like it would be awesome, but the Borg-devil looks a lot more like a reject from Labyrinth than the force of evil on Earth. Plain old Earnest isn’t cute at all, but apparently, the manifestation of Satan is adorable. Needless to say, these moments pulled me right out of whatever atmosphere the film had managed to build, and seeing as it happens every fifteen minutes for a while, it was nearly impossible to get myself immersed back in The Devil’s Rain.

It’s too bad that The Devil’s Rain put the brakes on Robert Fuest’s career. While the film has a plethora of problems, overall it’s nowhere near the mess it has a reputation for. With a little recasting, and perhaps an Italian director at the helm, this could have been a rather interesting film wrapped in the mythos of Satanism. From the article I read, Satanic High Priest Anton Levey, who cameos in the film as Borgnine’s right hand man and served as technical consultant, thought the Borg-devil was one of the best representations of Satan on screen. I have to say that as far as advertisements for the power of Satan go, this is not going to get many people to come around to the side of Old Scratch. So if you like supernatural film, William Shatner, or Bob Fuest, then you should definitely check this one out, and if anyone gives you a hard time about watching it, you can always say that the devil made you do it.

Bugg Rating