The Church (1989): Some of That Old, Old,Old Time Religion

Hey folks, I’m finally back to talk about a movie, and what better way to kick back off than with another thrilling installment of Once Upon a Time in Italy. I’ve been told by lots of folks that when they need to get reinvigorated they go to church. Now, I’m not a church going fellow, but when it comes to Michelle Sovai’s 1989 film La chiesa or The Church, I’m a member of the congregation for sure. Of the two Sovai films that I’ve seen, Stage Fright and Cemetery Man, I thought the prior was middling and the latter a work of a master. So I was genuinely excited to see one of the films he made between the two, but before I pass judgment on this one, let me tell you a little of what it’s about.

Back in the Middle Ages, the Teutonic knights, who were supposed to protect travelers to the Holy Land, decided to take their job very seriously. They went around and killed and pillaged anywhere that they thought might house witches or Satan worshipers. After one particularly nasty slaughter, in order to contain the evil, the Knights constructed a special church over the presumed heretic’s burial ground. They even had the architect build in a failsafe system should the evil ever get out. That’s a good thing because in the present day the greedy new librarian, Evan (Tomas Arana), has managed to break open the seal thinking it will be full of Middle Ages treasure. Instead, the spirits of the vengeful dead pour out to punish the inhabitants of the church. With the Church sealed up by the fail-safe, it is left to visiting priest Father Gus (Hugh Quarshie) and a young girl named Lotte (Asia Argento) to defeat the angry demons.

Speaking of demons, The Church was originally intended to be Demons 3, a follow up to the Lamburto Bava's two films. Instead, Sovai wanted to take the film in another direction and away from what he called “schlock pizza cinema”. The script seems almost to have been written by committee with eight writers credited including Lamburto Bava, Sovai, Dario Argento, and Demons scribe Franco Ferrini. Sovai intended his film to address the issues of religious oppression, the lingering impact of the Nazis, and other deeper issues. The problem is with a miasma of ideas floating around and scenes like a fellow jack hammering himself to death those larger ideas take a backseat to good old fashioned Italian horror. Now I’m not saying that is a bad thing. Anyone who watches Italian horror can tell you that narrative is not the strong suit, but it was frustrating to be able to tell that the director had something to say that was so obfuscated by the film itself to render it nearly incomprehensible.

Thankfully, missing the deeper meaning of Sovai’s film will not hinder your enjoyment of the flick. The director creates a great atmosphere, and Gothic churches are creepy to begin with so he had a head start. There are many moments of great imagery, and the special effects are actually quite good. There’s a monster makeup scene in the film that looks nearly flawless, and for a late ‘80’s Italian film, that’s saying something. One place it did come up short was in the musical department where tunes by Goblin and Keith Emerson both sounded like re-hashes of better, older material. The Church also features a partial score by Phillip Glass, the avant-garde composer, but even those compositions brought little to the film.

Instead The Church relies on Sovai’s eye and some solid acting. The best acting in the picture comes from Hugh Quarshie, an actor many will be familiar with from his work on 1990’s Nightbreed and in Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace. Quarshie’s performance was very intense, but he seemed likable. The only time I thought it had gotten a little out of hand was in one scene where the poor fellow was dripping so much sweat that I thought he was going to start his on eco-system. Tomas Arana, who went on to appear in Gladiator, was a despicable little fop, and that’s exactly what he was intended to be. Asia Argento, daughter of Dario, also turns in what might be her best performance as the young girl Lotte. I’ve never seen her in anything else I particularly liked though, but in her recent films, Asia's looks make up for her acting chops. The Church also features Italy’s whipping boy, Giovanni Lamburto Radice as a Priest, and it probably goes without saying that he gets it and gets it good

The Church was not quite the answer to my prayers, but if they passed around the collection plate, I would surely throw in a couple of bucks for the effort. Perhaps with a repeated viewing the message of the film might become clearer, but if not at least there’s still demonic things humping chicks and a girl who rips her own face off, so it won’t be a total loss. As far as Sovai’s films go, this one is right in the middle chronologically and ratings wise of the other films I’ve reviewed. If you’re looking for his best work, then check out Cemetery Man, but if you’ve seen that and enjoy Sovai’s stylish camera work and solid effects, then you should pull up a pew and have a seat with The Church.

Bugg Rating

Deliria a.k.a Stage Fright (1987): A Killer Who Gives a Hoot About his Work

When I was a kid, before I committed myself to the written word, I had aspirations to be an actor. I wanted to tread the boards, and nothing was going to stop me. I even ended up in a few productions, but as I got older, I found out that I wasn’t really keen on being in front of a large group of people. It seems that I had stage fright, and as luck would have it when I looked to see what I might want to review this week, I once again had Stage Fright. No I don’t mean I was afraid of coming out here and talking to you fine folks. I mean that I had a neglected copy of Michele Soavi’s 1987 film Deliria a.k.a Stage Fright that was begging to be reviewed. Soavi’s one of those directors who often slip my mind, but with films like Dellamorte Dellamore (Cemetery Man) and La chiesa (The Church), he should be hard to forget. By the time the curtains finally close on tonight’s tale, I hope that Mr. Soavi and his film will be stuck in my mind.

It all starts when a modern dance company is practicing for a big show that opens in a few days. The hard-ass director Paul (David Brandon) had forbid anyone from leaving the theater during practice for any reason, but when the star of the show, Alicia (Barbara Cupisti), twists her ankle her friend Betty sneaks her out to take her to a hospital. Unfortunately, the nearest place is a mental hospital, but they find a nice doctor who takes pity on Alicia and treats her. They also get a glimpse at deranged actor Irving Wallace (Clain Parker) who is being kept there after killing fifteen people. Wallace escapes just in time to stow away in the girl’s car, and soon he’s in the theater, donning a giant owl mask, and dispatching the cast and crew one by one.

One of the best things about this film is how Michele Soavi draws you into the world of the film. As the picture opens, a strange, birdlike looking hooker is assaulted and pulled back into an alleyway, but then as people pop out of windows and a Marilyn Monroe impersonator begins to blow a mean sax on a rooftop, the camera pulls out to reveal it is all part of a stage production. This simple little trick got me involved in the film very quickly, and it leads perfectly into establishing the setting, the tone, and then into the characters. It also establishes the tone for the film. Stage Fright is not exactly a straightforward slasher film. Soavi’s film Dellamorte Dellamore took the zombie film and turned it on its ear, and while Stage Fright doesn’t change the formula as radically, it does have a stripe of dark humor that runs throughout the film.

I can’t give Mr. Soavi all the credit for crafting a movie outside the norms of ‘80’s slasher films. The script was written by none other than Lair favorite George Eastman (with some help from Shelia Goldberg on dialog). Eastman is best known as the star of Joe D’Amato’s films Anthropophagus and the pseudo-sequel Absurd, but few realize that Eastman wrote those two films along with Castellari’s Keoma (1976), D’Amato’s Porno Holocaust (1981), and Stage Fright. The script is very well paced, and I commend it for giving the film the extremely darkly comic moments. There is one thing about this film I want to clear up. I’ve seen this listed many times as a giallo, but it is clearly not. The killer’s identity is clearly known, and there are no red herrings inserted to even make you think otherwise. Giallo came to the States and became the slasher film, but by 1987, the slasher had headed back over the ocean to influence Eastman and Soavi’s Stage Fright.

For as clever as the script and film making felt, the cast falls a bit short. Barbara Cupisti’s Alicia is very obviously intended to be the final girl from the time she is introduced, but I never could latch onto the character enough to care about her. This was an even bigger problem for the scads of nearly nameless dancers that become the killer’s victim after acting like a flock of bitches. The film tries to make Alicia sympathetic, but she comes off like a flaky mess and no better than her peers. The same can be said about David Brandon as the director Paul. He becomes one of the heroic characters in the film, but after forty plus minutes of him acting like a massive asshole, I was so ready for the Owl headed killer to catch up with him.

Speaking of which, I need to get around to the killer. Actor Clain Parker has a strange name, but he had very little to do as Irving Wallace as he only has a total of 2-3 minutes of screen time not wearing the Owl mask. Yet once he’s in it, it makes for a very unique killer that was really fun to see. The high point has to be when Paul thinks that Wallace is the dancer that is supposed to be wearing the Owl head. He invites the killer onto the stage and then proceeds to taunt him into killing. This is the perfect example of the dark comic tone of the film. Paul is nearly frothing at the mouth wanting his imaginary bloodlust quenched, but when Wallace stabs the girl to death in front of them, the romanticism of the murders in their bloody, erotic, modern dance routine is shattered.

Of course you can’t have dancing without music, and Simon Boswell’s score for the film is a classic. Filled with ‘80’s synths that really have that driving Miami Vice feel to them, I found myself often just listening to the score when scenes of dancers sniping at each other would come around. The score is also really well used when the killer takes command of the sound board and starts playing creepy killer music. I mean there’s a guy who really has pride in his work. Not only does he want to kill them, he wants to make sure that he’s got theme music to work with as well.

I could keep on about Stage Fright and pick apart the things I like and those I don’t, but in the end, things are pretty evenly matched. (For each scene that features Giovanni Lombardo Radice as an over the top gay costumer, there’s a montage that featuring a girl shaving her armpits.) Stage Fright will stick in my mind though because of the Owl headed killer if not for anything else, but it doesn’t really stack up compared to Soavi’s other films. If you’re interested in seeing how the American slasher influenced an Italian director, then I would encourage you to check this out. However, if you’ve never seen anything from Michele Soavi before, then start with Dellamorte Dellamore.

Bugg Rating