The Halloween Top 13: The Devil Made Me Do It #7 Demon Knight (1995)

Be thankful that this title is coming up in the Halloween Top 13: The Devil Made Me Do It instead of in a normal post or you'd have to face a title such as Demon Knight (1995): In-Zane in the Membrane, and I don't want to subject you nice people to an inane pun/twenty year old hip hop reference. Alright I kind of do, and I might have just done it. Can you blame me though? This is a Tales from the Crypt film, and after watching John Kasir's Crypt Keeper intro the film, you almost have to start punning in self defense against the onslaught of diabolical double entendres. I shall try and control my own punning for your protection. Demon Knight comes in at #7 on The Halloween Top 13, and it just so happens that the number seven is pretty important in the world of demon smashing. On a dark and stormy night, when the seven stars align, a Demon Knight and seven allies will fight back the forces of the underworld. By morning, Hell will rule the Earth or a new Demon Knight will emerge. Also there are jokes, CCH Pounder loses an arm, Dick Miller, the guy from Wings, Big Willie's future wife, and Roger Rabbit. Hmm, maybe I should try this again from the top.

Brayker (William Sadler), whose name sounds like to should have been the name of a badass trucker hero, is the current Demon Knight, and he's in possession of the last key that stands in the way of the demons taking over. On his trail is The Collector (I wonder if he knows The Accountant from #13 Drive Angry?), played by Billy Zane. Brayker stumbles into a hotel/flophouse run by Irene (Pounder), as his seven star hand tattoo line up telling him that his time as a warrior against Satan's minions is soon over. The Collector and his demon cohorts begin a savage seige of the hotel, the only thing keeping them out, the blood from the key with the power to seal doors against demons. As the night wears on and the hotels residents are either killed or tempted away by The Collector, Brayker finds his replacement in Jeryline (Jada Pickett), a petty criminal on work release at the hotel. Ultimately, she must face off against The Collector in a showdown to decide the fate of the world.

In the Tales from the Crypt television series, each episode featured an interesting appearance from a star or a couple of character actors. With the movie version they kicked that up to the point where nearly every major and minor character was played by someone recognizable. It's not fair to call Thomas Hayden Church the "guy from Wings" anymore after his 2005 Oscar nomination for Sideways, but when he played the treacherous character Roach, that's who he was to me just as Jada Pickett was a student of Spelman College on A Different World. More familiar to me were Roger Corman veteran Dick Miller (Bucket of Blood, Hearbeeps), who played the drunken Uncle Willy,  and stand up comedian Charles Fleisher, better known as the voice of Roger Rabbit, as a postman on the verge of going postal. Since seeing Demon Knight, I've noticed Brenda Bakke, prostitute Cordelia, in many small parts in films including appearing as Lana Turner in L.A. Confidential. I also have to nominate her for worst IMDB bio ever which reads, "Good-looking American lead actress who has toughed it in out in horrors, action and comedy since the late 80s." CCH Pounder, who has been in movies and television for years, really impresses here and shows off the same kind of toughness she would as a cop in The Shield. 

While Demon Knight follows the casting pattern of the television show, it strays when it comes to the source material. The Demon Knight script had been kicking around for years going through the hands of Tom Holland (Child's Play), Mark Carducci (Pumpinhead), and Mary Lambert (Pet Cemetary) before landing at Charles Band's Full Moon Productions. From there it finally made it's way to Joe Silver's production company where it was optioned to be the second Tales from the Crypt movie following a title called Dead Easy (which The Crypt Keeper teases at the end of Demon Knight.) Universal decided to place Demon Knight first (and ultimately kill the franchise with Bordello of Blood next), and it went into production though almost without demons. A treatment was done with the demons appearing to be average business suited yuppies to save money, but wisely the decision was made to fill the screen with monsters. The directing duties eventually fell to Ernest Dickenson. I'm split on Dickenson. While I love what he did on Demon Knight and his modern blaxploitation classic Juice as well as his television work with The Walking Dead  and Treme, the fact that he directed the unfunny Bulletproof and the unscary Bones make me wonder how he chooses his projects. In the case of Demon Knight, I assume he was a director for hire, and someone made a good choice for the job.

There's very little that I long for in a film that Demon Knight does not provide. With plenty of gore, action, comedy, great acting,  it already gets me, but then add in Zane's Collector with his quotable lines, and I was sold. Here's my Top 4 Collector quotes

4. Humans. You're not worth the flesh you're printed on!

3. Has anyone ever told you how beautiful you are? I know that sounds like a line - Lord knows I've used it - but I mean it.

2. Do me a favor? Don't scream. Just hear what I've gotta say... and then scream.

1. Fuck this cowboy shit! You fucking ho-dunk, po-dunk, well then there motherfuckers! All you had to do was give me the goddamn key! Then we could get on with our lives.

I've lost track of how many times I've seen Demon Knight over the years. I have to imagine it numbers in the hundreds somewhere, but I still find myself constantly amused, and ready to watch it again. While the Tales from the Crypt movie franchise never lived up to its potential, it at least gave us one great film. Before I go I want to also mention the incredible soundtrack this film has.From Filter's "Hey Man, Nice Shot" to Gravedigga's "1-800-Suicide" and Pantera's "Cemetery Gates", Demon Knight features tunes as badass as the film itself.

That brings us to the end of #7 on the Halloween Top 13: The Devil Made Me Do It. I've still got six more titles in store for you folks to bring us right into the big day. Today I also have another reader submitted Devilish pick. So scroll down below the trailer to see a suggestion sent in by one my favorite readers, the mighty Mr. James.

Bugg Rating

Halloween Top 13- READER LIST


My pal James has been a reader of The Lair for years, and I think this is his second year participating in the Halloween Top 13. Thanks James, and great suggestions!

I am not entirely sure that I have 13 films to mention in this oeuvre that haven't been talked to death by every blogger and wanna-be Lightning Bugg on the net, but I know I have at least one; The First Power. 

When homicide detective and professional serial killer catcher Russell Logan sets his sights on his latest rock star psychopath, played by the awesomely underused Jeff Kober, he thinks he is dealing with just another sicko that likes dancing in ladies' underwear and smearing himself with peanut butter. After our antichristian antagonist gets the gas chamber, shit gets real when the good cops responsible start turning up dead in a manner that precisely matches those of the now deceased (or is he??) Patrick Channing. 

While not overtly about the devil, Channing's M.O. included a ton of pentagrams and satany looking stuff, so it definitely qualifies for what Hollywood thinks a devil worshiper is.  The best part about this movie to me is what the first power is, which is the ability to essentially possess anyone you choose for as long or as little as you want.  This was done to similar effect in the Denzel Washington vehicle Fallen, which I also liked, quite a bit, and the Wes Craven turd Shocker, which I like, but not because it's any good, at all.  What First Power does different is switch between portraying the possessed person as themselves or as Channing, so that you never forget about Jeff Kober.  This is good, because Jeff Kober is awesome. 

So you may ask yourself, "Self, if I were a serial killer who got the gas chamber and was reborn as a spirit with the ability to jump from body to body at will, what's the first thing I'd do?"  If you said "Well, I damn sure wouldn't advertise to the super obsessive cop that caught and killed me that I now had super powers!" then you would be smarter than Patrick Channing, my friend.  Think of it, Channing could have spent eternity bouncing from body to body, doing whatever the hell he wanted, including killing random people, but instead he runs up to his nemesis and goes "Catch me if you can!!"  I am instantly reminded of Clown's comment from Spawn The Movie; "Why does God get all the good followers and we get all the retards?" 

The Halloween Top 13: The Devil Made Me Do It #11: Evilspeak (1981)

I don't trust people who don't like Clint Howard. I just don't. I've tried to make amends with it, tried to find some kind of peace, but I can't. There's something inherently wrong at the moral and genetic center of any individual who dismisses Ron Howard's brother as merely a footnote in Austin Powers lore. Those people are missing something inside. Something deep and meaningful, the part of them that could enjoy Ice Cream Man, that would know that Eaglebower was the coolest person in Rock and Roll High School, and would have already seen Silent Night, Deadly Night 4... and 5. I feel terrible for those folks. Not just because they're not fully formed people, but also because they won't enjoy #11 on the Halloween Top 13: The Devil Made Me Do It because I can't go any further into this list without speaking on this Clint Howard film. In fact, I might just Evilspeak on it.


Stanley Coopersmith (Clint Howard) is an outcast among the cadets at the American Military Academy. An orphan, Stanley is used to spending time alone, but with no friends to speak of, unless you count the four cadets that tease him unmercifully as friends, he sinks into a very dark place. Constantly coming out on the wrong side of things, he often finds himself doing hours of punishing chores. While cleaning out the church basement, he finds a book written by Father Esteban (Richard Moll), a priest turned Satan worshiper, who details how to perform a black mass to summon forth the devil. Stanley begins to work toward getting the ingredients together for the mass, but when the four bullies kill his puppy, he throws things into high gear. Fulfilling all the requirements and feeding them into his computer, Stanley calls forth his revenge, but at what price.

Looking into Evilspeak, I felt like there was somewhere I had heard the name 'Stanley Coopersmith' before, but I couldn't place it and I didn't see any obvious references. A quick search reminded me that there was a Psychologist named Stanley Coopersmith who, in 1967, identified the link between self-esteem and frailty. As he explained it, "in children domination, rejection, and severe punishment result in lowered self-esteem. Under such conditions they have fewer experiences of love and success and tend to become generally more submissive and withdrawn (though occasionally veering to the opposite extreme of aggression and domination)" It can come as no mistake that Howard's character, a young man whose self-esteem as been so battered, bruised, and broken that he has falls into that "occasional" group Dr. Coopersmith describes in the end of the quote. His need for revenge and dominance also fits into to the mold of LeVay Satanism as well which venerates the individual above all, self indulgence by all means, and an eye for an eye when it comes down to it. Howard's Stanley is the only sympathetic character in the film (seriously there are no good guys so don't be looking for a white hat to save the day or Stanley to change his course), but he is a deeply hurt, flawed individual who makes some interesting life choices.

For my dollar, Howard has never been better. While I love Ice Cream Man and his role in his brother's film Eat My Dust, Evilspeak gives Howard a chance to play a wide emotional range. Here's a guy who plays the victim and the heavy all in one film, and even though he's planning to summon Satan to kill everyone, somehow still manages to be likable. I chalk it up to the Howard charm. While I'm on actors, let me mention a couple of others. Richard Moll (Night Court's Bull) was only in the film briefly as Father Esteban, but his image runs throughout the film leaving quite an impression. R.G. Armstrong who plays the Sarge will probably ring a bell with anyone (like me) whose seen Children of the Corn recently as playing the unhelpful gas station attendant in that film. Haywood Nelson of What's Happening? fame (he played Dwayne) shows up here as the one kid who tries to stick up for Stanley. Don Stark who plays the head bully Bubba put on a few pounds over the years and ended up the curly haired Bob Pinciotti on That 70's Show. Charles Tyner, Cool Hand Luke's prison guard, keeps the boys of the AMA in check as Colonel Kincaid, and for the oppsite end of the spectrum, Ox is played by Jim Greenleaf who played Jonathan Andrew McDorfus in that film to end all arcade films, Joysticks.

This was the first film for director Eric Weston, and though I haven't seen any of his other films (the latest being a suspiciously SyFy looking offering about shape shifting Hyenas), I somehow suspect Evilspeak may be his crowning moment. Somewhere back in time, the script had been called The Foundling by screenwriter Joseph Garofalo . Working with Weston, he tightened up the script and added the computer elements to the story. The tech elements added to the story is what makes it really stand out. With plenty of 8 bit graphics on display, Weston mined the Satanic imagery, which looked like an Arcade Game designed by Bill Graham on the brown acid, perfectly adding an extra layer of mystery. This was after all 1981. For all anyone knew, Satan could come right through a computer, and he doesn't need broadband to do it. Mixing the supernatural and the technological makes for an interesting parallel. While most of us don't know how computers work, we accept it. However, the supernatural, which like the functions of computers often are out of sight, is dismissed summarily. Having Stanley use the new technology  to enhance the old magic bridges a gap between Esteban and Stanley, and predicts that yesterday's Satanic book may be tomorrow's Devilish webpage. 

Evilspeak is a revenge fantasy. What is different about it compared to films like Thriller or Death Wish is that while we see Stanley's tormentors as total douches, it's hard to justify being killed for it. Evilspeak does not temper its message. There's no moment when Stanley realizes what he's done and tries to fix it. He completes his plan, and depending what you take from the film's coda, he took the repercussions that went with it as well. On the surface, Evilspeak is a darkly comic film about a nerd that goes off the deep end for revenge, but there's more going on here. There is so little in the film to hinder Stanley and his actions. It all comes off like the wet dream of a kid with Columbine aspirations. While the gore doesn't put me off, it did put the film on the Video Nasties list in the UK, but it could have just as well been on there for content. Evilspeak has something of a nihilistic slant about people, and upon reflection, seems much darker than when the events were playing out.

That bring us to the just and honorable conclusion of this edition of The Halloween Top 13: The Devil Made Me Do It. I hope you've enjoyed the past three days of films, and get ready because tomorrow starts the Terrifying top 10 and I've got some Hella great stuff waiting for you.

Bugg Rating

Tourist Trap (1979): Mannequins, Murder, and The Cleanest Bathrooms In the State

To kick off Spring Slashers, I thought I would see if there was someone’s first film that would fit the bill. I found just what I was looking for in the premiere feature from David Schmoeller, future director of Puppet Master, Netherworld, and Crawlspace. With a career filled with both cult classics and complete misses, I knew that Schmoeller’s first film could go either way, but I had heard things about Tourist Trap (1979). Good things mostly, but I’d also been told it used a slasher formula that was tired even by late Seventies standards. However, I had to see it because no one loves a tourist trap quite like I do. No matter if an attraction boasts a two headed snaked, cavemen hanging with dinosaurs, a weird cave, or a giant statue, you can sign me up because I will go. After watching House of 1000 Corpses, the thought of crazy people inhabiting a tourist trap never strays far from my mind when I pull into one of the invariably dusty parking lots, but it wasn’t quite enough to make me stay away. What might do the trick though is mannequins and The Rifleman, and that’s not a combination I would expect.

The movie does start formulaically with a group of teens and their broken down car. One goes up the road to get help (never to return) and the others soon run into Mr. Slausen (Chuck Connors), proprietor of Slausen’s Lost Oasis, a wax museum. The stranded teens (including future That 70’s Show MILF Tanya Roberts) hitch a ride with Slausen back to his place. While the group’s lone guy, Jerry (John Van Ness) and Slausen head back to try to fix the car, three girls are left at the Oasis and warned not to venture out due to coyotes. The real danger is Davey. As the girls start to venture out exploring the creepy old house behind Slausen’s tourist trap, they soon encounter the doll faced Davey and his telekinetically powered killer mannequins. The girls are soon picked down to one, the sweet and wholesome Molly (Jocelyn Jones) who discovers the true nature of the slasher’s secret.

So, Tourist Trap sounds like a stale, crusty, hackish slasher, but the first few minutes disprove that notion. The film starts out like a DIY version of Herbie Hancock’s Rockit video plus blood, and sets the film’s strange tone from the get-go. Judging from David Schmoeller’s other film, the man has an offbeat sense of humor and it’s on full display here. Not only does the killer alternate between incredibly creepy and neurotically hilarious, the situations that the film presents appear deliberately broadly portrayed. There is a subtle spoof going on under the surface at all times, and Schmoeller has rarely been more in command. With Dolomite (and frequent Graydon Clark) DP Nicholas Josef von Sternberg behind the cameras and a supremely eerie score from Italian maestro Pino Donaggio, the whole feeling of the film keeps the viewer off kilter. Tourist Trap is the type of film where I felt like I knew what to expect, but the result was something more erratically charming.

With all the great people at work behind the camera, the real magic for me happened in front of the camera. Chuck Connors, a.k.a TV’s Rifleman, landed in several cult and genre films late in his career, but I’ve never seen him be better anywhere than in Tourist Trap. The sad thing is that I can’t talk about the complete greatness of his performance without spoiling parts of the movie, and the sadder thing is that just saying that is a spoiler unto itself. So I’ll leave it at this, if you like Chuck Connors, this is THE Chuck Connors movie to see. The supporting cast is not anything to write home about, but they all serve their purpose as grist for the eerie, weird murderous Davey. I do have to take a second to mention Tanya Roberts’ miniscule tube top barely containing her assets. The replacement Charlie’s Angel does get a chance to show off some of the ditzy adorable humor she would tap into again in the ’90’s, and she far outshines female lead Jocelyn Jones (The Great Texas Dynamite Chase). The other two characters, played by Jon Van Ness and Robin Sherwood, do prove themselves utterly disposable, but the kills are so strangely imaginative their deaths were indispensable.

I will always take a chance on films from a director like David Schmoeller. Even his lesser efforts have some kind of attraction to them. Sure Netherworld is a piece of crap, but just try and resist the crap-tacular wonders of the flying stone hand. Tourist Trap needs no such defense. As a first film it captures something that Schmoeller would flirt with in every film of his I’ve seen, horror as tone. There are moments of Tourist Trap that feel like Mario Bava was let loose in Charles Band’s backyard. Even though there were many dark laughs, Tourist Trap also served up more than its share of disconcerting moments equaling anything in better known slashers. If I were going to compare Tourist Trap to a roadside attraction, I would have to say it was the kind that draws you in from the highway and shows you something incredible that might also make you throw up in your mouth a little. In other words the best kind, and for that it gets the first five Bug rating of 2011.

Bugg Rating

Christmas Shorts: Rare Exports Inc - How to Trap and Train a Father Christmas

As the feature length telling of Rare Exports has hit the theaters this year, lots of folks have probably seen this two videos, but they are definitely my favorite new addition to the yearly Christmas viewing list.

Christmas Shorts: Black Santa's Revenge (2007): Ken Foree Blows a Ho-Ho-Ho-le In the Bad Guys

Black Santa's Revenge is a short I've meant to catch up with for years, but it took doing this series of Christmas Shorts to remind me of it. Starring Ken Foree (Dawn of the Dead) and based on a 6 page comic that appeared in the magazine BadAzzMofo, Black Santa's Revenge is as close as anyone will ever come to blaxploitation for Christmas. Foree stars as the titular Black Santa, a guy who may not be so nice all year (as evidenced by his playing of dice in the opening scene), but takes time out to play Santa at the community rec center. When a group of thugs steals all the donated toys, Black Santa is both distraught at the thought of all the children who will not get the presents and furious at the cops who think he's involved. While having a drink in a strip club (still wearing his Santa suit of course), he spots one of the thugs that stole all the toys. Naturally, from there, Black Santa takes his revenge.

I really like this short, and I wish director David Walker had continued to work in this vein (he instead directed the navel gazing bummer My Dinner With A.J.), but at least he added this special piece to Holiday film lore. Foree is wonderful to see and perfect in the part, and what's even better is the 20 minute running time. Extending this into a feature length would have killed the joke, but as it stands it's a sweet, delicious Holiday treat.

This is only the trailer for Black Santa's Revenge, but you can get the whole film for only $3.99 as a digital download at Black Santa's Homepage. So check it out, it's the perfect digital stocking stuffer.

Cannibal Girls (1973) Ivan Reitman & Eugene Levy Ain't Afraid of No Cannibals!

Tonight’s film hits all the big ‘uns’, unseen, unappreciated, and unavailable. The last of those three things is no problem thanks to our friends from Cinema de Bizarre, and the other two I intend to do something about myself. See there’s this guy named Ivan Reitman. He’d go on to direct a few other pictures. Than there’s this twenty seven year old freak named Eugene Levy. I don’t know if you’ve heard of him, but later on he cashed paychecks for all seven, yes there are seven, American Pie films. He was also on a show called SCTV which originated in the Great White North, as was his co-star in tonight’s flick, Andrea Martin. This was before all of that. This was Reitman’s and Levy’s second film, the first was the 1971 quirky romantic comedy Foxy Lady, but even here it’s easy to see how these two fellows went from 1973’s Cannibal Girls to 1984’s Ghostbusters and 2000’s Best in Show respectively.


Clifford Wallaby (Eugene Levy) and his new girlfriend Gloria (Andrea Martin) take off for a nice trip to a secluded little town in the Canadian countryside. At first they think they’ve found a picturesque town that would be perfect for their vacation, but when they start seeing how strange the townsfolk act toward them, they start to get worried. They should be worried too because the town is lead by The Reverend (Ronald Ulrich) and his three cannibal girls (Randall Carpenter, Bonnie Neilson, and Mia Pawluk). When the couple ends up in the cannibal cult’s clutches, The Reverend wants Gloria to take her place as the newest carnivorous cutie and Clifford to take his place at the dinner table. Wait, did I say at the table. I meant on it, spread across quite a few silver platters.

Eleven years later, Reitman would seamlessly assemble a film that perfectly meshed his comedic sensibilities with the horror milieu, but in 1973, there were more seams than a coat custom made for John Merrick. Cannibal Girls floats back and forth between the light Second City influenced comedy of Levy and Martin to the dark horror world of The Reverend and his gal pals. There are points in the film where the transition from funny to scary happens gradually, but there are just as many points where it cuts from the couple playfully bickering right to a mutated cannibal slave gnawing on a thigh bone. These moments can be jarring, but I could see what he was trying to do. He wasn’t trying to graft a zany comedy into a cannibal film, but rather the same kind of improvisational comedy that Christopher Guest does so well in his films now. There was only the barest of essentials written in the script, and the cast, nearly all alums of the stage in one form or another, performed the film off he cuff. That's not to say that the film is entirely original. There's more than a hint of H.G. Lewis in general and 2000 Maniacs in specific.

While Reitman would go on to make blockbuster films, judging from the look and camerawork going on, it should come as no surprise that cinematographer Robert Saad’s biggest credits would be Police Academy 3 &4. I know some of the flaws in the film can be attributed to the soft, loose print transfer, but Cannibal Girls features not one, not two, but the three best shots of a boom mic that I have ever seen. I was surprised at the end that it didn’t get billing. Consistently throughout the film, more than the amateur acting, flawed effects, or humor that missed its mark, the thing that perturbed me most was the shoddy look. I know Reitman was inexperienced and that his budget was epically low, but Cannibal Girls has enough problems with tone without the camera work being inconsistent as well.

The real saving grace of the film is the cast. While Levy is mostly hidden under giant 70’s glasses, a massive curly fro, and a mustache that would put Mr. Kotter to shame, he still comes off like the likeable nebbish he continues to play in films. He has a great chemistry with Andrea Martin (who also looked way cuter here than I’ve ever seen her look anywhere else). Martin and Levy come across so perfectly as a couple. The two gifted improvisers clearly had a lot to do with the direction of their characters, and they both added bits to flesh out the roles making them fully realized and interesting people. The same can’t be said of the titular Cannibal Girls. While the three girls, a blond, brunette, and redhead of course, are all very fetching, there is never rhyme or reason to what they are doing. They are more pretty monsters than characters. Ronald Urich, who played the Reverend, has limited time on screen, but makes the most out of it. He moves from eccentric to insane at the drop of a hat, and what a hat is it. For the life of me, I could not shake the thought that Urich just looked like an eerie version of Jim Henson in a top hat and tails.

Now that I’ve mentioned how to clear up unavailable (Cinema de Bizarre ftw) and hopefully convinced some of you folks to help make it more seen, I still want to talk about this flick being unappreciated. On IMDB, Cannibal Girls only gets a 3.4 and receives scads of reviews impugning the film. I’m here to tell you that there’s no reason for either thing to happen. Not only does Cannibal Girls give a glimpse into what was to come in Reitman’s career, but it also predicts the rise of snaky, independent horror, the improvised comedic film, and pre-dates the majority of the cannibal craze. Granted, when American International Pictures got a hold of the film for distribution, they had no idea what to do with it. They ended up inserting a William Castle-esque ‘Warning Bell’ that would cut in before the gore scenes. Nowadays, the real problem is that while in 1971 Cannibal Girls was well ahead of the curve, in 2010, some will find it completely behind the times. Me, I found it to be one of the more enjoyable horror-comedies that I’ve seen in quite some time, and I learned that, while Canadians might seem like a nice people, I don’t think that I’ll be eating any back bacon for quite some time.

Bugg Rating

Shredder (2003) And You Thought He Only Hated Turtles

Before I get into today’s snowboarding slasher, I want to say that I have no ability when it comes to winter sports at all. My knowledge of snowboarding is limited to The Olympics (where it continues to puzzle me how it got in but not skateboarding), Shawn White commercials, and the game Cool Boarders that I used to have on the Playstation. So don’t expect this review to be popping with snowboarding lingo. That’s mostly because I tried and couldn’t figure out what context the words are used. Snowboarding always looks like a bad idea to me as does skiing, but I’m nothing if not an equal opportunity wuss. To me, it appears that you strap a 2 by 4 to your feet, hurl yourself down a mountain waiting for a tree to appear in front of you or a cliff you didn’t see to appear, and then, as you relax and take in the mountain locales, death ensues. For the borders in today’s film, Shredder, they don’t have to waste their time waiting for nature to cull them out because someone is more than happy to do it for them. .

Shredder starts off like they were running down a checklist of things they had to do in a slasher movie. First up, a car full of kids headed out for an abandoned ski lodge. Then, the group takes in a stranger, Christian, who is from the vaguely stated “Europe”. After that make sure you head into town to meet the locals and get warned off from where you’re staying when the creepy bartender recounts the tale of when some little girl was killed on the mountain (cue dramatic pause) by snowboarders. After that all you have to do is split up and get yourselves picked off by a merciless skier dressed head to toe in black. It probably wouldn’t come as a surprise there’s not much imaginative plotting in Shredder, but what might surprise you is while the plot was standard, the characters are actually interesting, well scripted, believable, and at times actually funny (though the film does insert a fair amount of strange gallows humor).

Having characters I actually liked in a film where the plot was spelled out like it was being dragged across the sky on an aerial banner, made for interesting viewing. It was easy to predict who might live and die, but unlike the cast of so many slashers, I actually got into it yelling at the characters to not take their next and very obvious step. I watched expecting it to be a silly, stupid, z-grade mess, but director Greg Huson, who wrote the script with Craig Carson, really pulls though by mixing the expected along with a cast of very non-standard characters. Working with cinematographer Charles Schner (2009 Alfred Hitchcock remake The Lodger, Life on Mars), the powdery snow of the pristine mountains comes off less bright and attractive than cold and desolate. Now with all this being said, I have to backtrack a bit. While I enjoyed Shredder more than I expected (as you will see from my grade), I also felt that it had a lot of needless exposition, perhaps one or two extraneous characters, and a good deal of padding in the form of people snowboarding around. However, being as it is the first (and only) horror outing from Huson, he did an above average job making the silly snowboarding content work in a slasher.

I’ve talked about how much I liked the characters without getting into specifics, but I have to call a few of these actors out. Saved by the Bell: The Next Generation’s Lindsey McKeon follows in fellow Bell alum Elizabeth Berkley's footsteps by showing her goods, but her main addition to the film is the pitch perfect portrayal of spoiled rich tramp Kimberley Van Arx. Like a lot of the characters, she seems like a bigger, more ‘90’s version of a stock ‘80’s movie character, but scenes such as when she’s going around their cabin filling her hands up with anything she can to fend off attackers, a frying pan, a fire poker, and a cheese grater, elicit enough laughs or character to shock these roles out of being stock. Billy O’Sullivan entertains (and drops quite a few movie references) as Skyler, the documentary film maker following Kirk (Peter Riggs) the stoner second best snowboarder in the world, and Brad Hawkins, former star of kid’s program V.R. Troopers, provides a great red herring as the “European” Christen. The real standout to me was Juleah Weikel as Pike. Often mislabeled as Pike the Dyke by her snowboarding friends, she nails the most interesting and dynamic character in the film. Plus it doesn‘t hurt that she was super cute.

As with any slasher the two main ingredients that have to really work to make the film good are the killer and the kills. While it was a nice bonus that I liked and was entertained by the characters in Shredder, I have liked plenty of slashers where I could have given less than a crap if my “heroes” lived or died. The killer really doesn’t make much of an impression. Until the very end of the film he has no lines, so we’re just talking your basic killer in black…..with skis naturally. However, I have to like his methods. Getting killed with an icicle, hung on the ski lift, and impaled with a skiing pole are just some of the fun ways to go in Shredder. Though it is the least messy, I really have to applaud the filmmakers for the ski life scene. They manage to make it scary, then morbidly funny, before making it chillingly scary again, and that is no easy feat.

That dichotomy of the horroriffic and the humorous playing against each other is a lot of what works in Shredder, but I would be hesitant to call it a horror comedy as it doesn’t have enough jokes to push it all the way into that category. Shredder really defied my expectations. I was totally expecting to be eviscerating the film to comic effect by now, and nothing surprises me more right now than actually recommending it to you folks. It will not be the best slasher you’ve ever seen, but whatever you expect it to be, even after reading this review, is probably not going to be what you get. So go be bitchin’ or gnarly or whatever the kids are saying these days, and check this one out. As for me I’m going to remain off the slopes, there’s plenty of ways for me to mess up and die in day to day life. I don’t need snow, a mountain, or and evil skier to help me out with that!

Bugg Rating

The Stuff (1985): You Are What It Eats

While taking a long look into the career of Larry Cohen on this past week’s Sinful Cinema, I was excited to talk about all the great films of his that I’d seen, but also more than a little sad that there were so many I’d missed. Out of 21 directorial credits, I had seen barely more than half, and I knew I needed to start correcting that. So expect to see a lot more Larry Cohen around The Lair. With all this great stuff to start watching, how could I not start with 1985’s The Stuff? I was drawn to this film because it was about killer junk food, and there are few people who like junk food more than I do. Many people have told me that the kind of food that I eat will kill me, but at least it’s not eating me from the inside out and making me into a mindless zombie who craves more. On second thought, maybe it is. Excuse me while I grab some Cheetos and a couple marshmallow filled Easter eggs, and I’ll be right back to tell you a little more about The Stuff.

When a group of mine workers discovers a white substance bubbling up from the ground, they taste the goo and find it to be delicious and addictive. It doesn’t take long before the corporation gets wind of the discovery, and The Stuff becomes the number one selling food product in America. The rival snack food companies hire David ‘Mo’ Rutherford (Michael Moriarty), and ex-FBI agent turned industrial saboteur, to discover the secret of The Stuff, and it doesn’t take long before he finds that the snack food treat has a sinister side to it. ‘Mo’ gets some help on his mission from Nichole (Andrea Marcovicci), the ad executive who feels guilty about marketing The Stuff, Jason (Scott Bloom), a kid who refused to eat the snack after his family became obsessed with it, and ‘Chocolate Chip’ Charlie (Garrett Morris), the cookie tycoon who got run out of business by The Stuff. They must find a way to break The Stuff’s zombie like hold on the minds of people across the country.

As with many Larry Cohen films, the surface of this film seems like a trashy low budget horror/comedy, and there’s no reason that it can’t be appreciated in that way. Digging just below the surface, it becomes apparent that Mr. Cohen had something to say about the proliferation of fast food chains, junk foods, and the power of advertising. It seems easy to believe that corporation would market a product that makes its users hopelessly addicted. How many of us can’t get through the day without caffeine laden soda, overpriced coffee, or, perhaps the best example, cigarettes that are not food but certainly ingested? In the 25 years since The Stuff made its debut, America has become the most obese nation on Earth, and our hunger for cheap, fast, nutritionally questionable food has grown unabated. Now, I don’t want folks to think I’m preaching from the pulpit. I’m as guilty, if not guiltier, of junk food lust. I just want to point out that when the film asks, “are you eating it or is it eating you”, it’s more than a funny line. It’s a question we could viably ask ourselves every day.

This was the second of three films that actor Michael Moriarty would make with director Larry Cohen (the first being Q: The Winged Serpent and the last Island of the Alive). I have always been kind of hit and miss with Mr. Moriarty, but I found his portrayal of the nonplussed saboteur for hire quite entertaining. His character, ‘Mo’, keeps up his laid back southern style no matter if he is uncovering a vast conspiracy or being attacked by moving mounds of The Stuff, and I liked that though as a Southerner I have to say that his accent could have used a lot of work. I was very impressed with Scott Bloom as the young anti-Stuffer David. For a kid actor, he handled the material quite well, and he’s still at work today though his most recent credit is as FBI agent #3 in 2006’s Smoking Aces. For sheer entertainment, there’s no one better in this film then Garrett Morris. I was sold on the film by the time Morris as the Famous Amos inspired ‘Chocolate Chip’ Charlie, showed up, but his performance really put it over the top. Of all the SNL alums, it’s really too bad that Morris didn’t become a bigger star, and I thoroughly enjoyed every moment he has in this film. If there’s a weak link, then it has to be Andrea Marcovicci. There were quite a few of her scenes cut out of the film according to Cohen’s commentary track, but I don’t think a further exploration of a love story between Marcovicci and Moriarty’s characters would have really added much to the picture. There are also quite a few cameos to check out as well. So keep a look out for Danny Aiello, Paul Sorvino, Eric Bogosian, and Patrick Dempsey.

Typically, the film is well directed, and Cohen adds great visual flair and special effects to really sell the movie. One scene, where The Stuff attacks Marcovicci and Moriarty in their hotel room features a stunning sequence that combines stop motion with a rotating room set that allowed The Stuff to pin one character to the ceiling. While listening to the commentary track, I found it very interesting to hear that the effect was achieved with the use of the same rotating room used in Nightmare on Elm Street for the memorable blood spurting bed scene. All the stop motion effects were very smooth and well done and make the white goop actually seem sinister. The Stuff itself was made of many different materials for different scenes. At one time or another it was represented by liquid plastic, fire retardant foam, whipped cream, and partially unfrozen Haagen-Daaz.

Larry Cohen has many great films in his oeuvre, and The Stuff surely ranks near the top of that list. Not only does it have a fabulous subtext that might actually play better now than 25 years ago, but works as a creature feature horror film equally as well. Will it make me reconsider my next meal? Probably not, but I doubt that I’ll get a craving for Marshmallow fluff anytime in the near future. If you’re a Larry Cohen fan and, like me, this film has flown under your radar, then definitely check it out. It’s also a great film to introduce people to Larry’s work. The Stuff gets my highest recommendation, but I think it’s time I bring this review to a close. I’m feeling a bit peckish, and I think there are some snacks that are calling my name.

Bugg Rating

Hitch on the Hump: Frenzy (1972)

Welcome back to another installment of Hitch on the Hump. I know it has been quite some time since the last appearance of the Master of Suspense, but now he’s back and I’m ready to resume my goal of reviewing all of his films. To kick the series off again, I wanted to revisit Frenzy (1972) which I’ve reviewed here some time back, but it didn’t get the HotH treatment. I enjoy many of his films immensely, but there’s something about Frenzy that intrigues me. I’ve re-watched the film a few times since then, and I even had the good fortune to find the book that the film was based on and give that a read. Frenzy was Hitchcock’s next to last film, and it saw the master trying hard to keep up with the times. Many people have criticized the director for the results, but I find the film to be darkly comic, perverse, and full of the great cinematic moments that Hitch was known for.

In the aftermath of his plodding 1969 Cuban Missile Crisis inspired film Topaz, Hitchcock sought a property that would fit more in the mold of a “Hitchcockian” film. He found what he was looking for in Arthur La Bern’s 1966 book Goodbye Piccadilly, Farewell Leicester Square. La Bern had a proven track record as another of his novels was the basis for the 1947 film It Always Rains on Sunday, and Goodbye Piccadilly contained a wrong man plot, a dark humor, and moments that must have reminded Hitchcock of both The Lodger and Psycho. To script the film, Hitchcock wanted a writer as English as the setting and material, and so he chose writer Anthony Schaffer best known for the play (and film) Sleuth. Hitchcock and Schaffer shaped the script from the book, excising some portions that worked on the page, but would just eat up time on screen. In the end, La Bern criticized the films both for its “appalling dialog” and overall distasteful nature. This is somewhat surprising considering that the most violent passages were lifted directly from the novel. Hitchcock took the novelists criticism in stride mentioning how much money the writer would make when, “They release the book with our title.” which of course the publishers did.

The film starts with a bartender, Richard Blaney (Jon Finch) losing his job for nicking a drink finds himself broke and low on luck. He doesn’t even have enough money to put down on a 20 to 1 sure bet at the track that his friend Bob Rusk (Barry Foster) told him about. To make matters worse, he pays a visit to his ex-wife Brenda (Barbara Leigh-Hunt), now a prosperous London matchmaker, and makes a fool out of himself at her club when she invites him to dinner. To cap off his day, Dick has to resort to sleeping at a Salvation Army shelter as he has no place else to go. Just when he thinks things can’t get any worse, Brenda turns up dead, strangled to death by the Necktie Killer who has been stalking the London’s streets. Richard had been seen leaving her office shortly before she was discovered, and soon he becomes the prime suspect. He goes into hiding with the help of his girlfriend Babs (Anna Massey), but she is later found dead as well. Framed for murders he did not commit, Dick becomes a victim of circumstance while the real killer gets away, but will justice ever get served.

Unlike my synopsis, by the time the first murder is committed you know exact ally who has committed the crimes, and so for ease of talking about the film I will say now that the killer is Richard’s dapper, fruit salesman friend Bob Rusk. The character was supposed to be a “man about town” type, and originally Hitchcock had wanted Michael Caine for the role. Caine, however, proved to be too busy to take the part and instead Barry Foster was cast. Foster bears an obvious resemblance to Caine with his wavy hair and memorable face. He had also appeared in Twisted Nerve (1968), a British thriller with a Bernard Herrmann score that Hitchcock had screened while he was preparing for the film. Foster is absolutely why this film works. His Rusk is nearly the polar opposite of Anthony Perkins’ Norman Bates. Where Norman was nervous and twitchy, Rusk is supremely confident, charming, devilish, and well dressed. (He is also impotent, but the movie doesn’t go as far into that as the novel.) In one of the most violent scenes that Hitch ever put to film, Foster plays the killer chillingly, but he is also charismatic enough that his trials to free a tiepin from the rigored hand of a dead woman in the back of a potato truck still play off as the darkest of comedy.

Less successful was Hitchcock’s casting of Jon Finch as Richard Blaney. In a way, he was everything that Blaney should have been, a dull, unassuming and uninteresting man who is drawn into a terrible set of circumstances. His performance may have suffered because before production even began Finch made the mistake of referring to Hitchcock as “past his prime” and inferred that the actors might have to improvise to improve the script. Hitch nearly recast the role, but instead he gave the actor no leeway instructing the script girl to prompt Finch sharply if he deviated from his written lines. The one time that he openly questioned a line on set production came to a halt until Anthony Schaffer could be found and consulted. The director even cut down on the close-ups of Finch, and the careful eye will notice how much more the camera likes Foster’s Rusk than the “hero” of the film. As Patrick McGilligan noted in his biography of Hitchcock, neither the novel or the film portrays Blaney as anything other than a self absorbed ass even after his ex-wife and girlfriend are killed. From start to finish, this is a film about the killer and the patsy that is framed for the crimes is merely there to propel the film along.

There are also some interesting supporting characters, and I want to take a moment to talk about them. Alec McCowen and Vivian Merchant have some of the most memorable scenes as Inspector Oxford and his wife. As the Inspector discusses the case over his wife’s horribly cooked epicurean adventures, the two banter in a believable and interesting way. The performances of both actors added an extra layer not evident in the novel, and they were a pure Hitchcock touch. Barbara Leigh-Hunt has little screen time, but I have to commend her for her bravery in filming the most violent of all Hitchcock scenes. Cinematographer Gilbert Taylor, fondly recalled Hitchcock’s sympathy toward the actress when she had to film the scene where her clothes were torn off and she was murdered. “He tried to spare the girl’s modesty because she didn’t like what she was doing, she didn’t like exposing her breasts.” The scene is powerful and harrowing, a credit to both the actress and the director daring to go further than he ever had.

I mentioned Gilbert Taylor before, but I haven’t had time to talk about how great this film looks. Taylor had served as cinematographer on films like Dr. Strangelove and The Beatles’ A Hard Day’s Night, and he captures both the essential Britishness of the film and some stunning tracking shots that were pure Hitchcock. One, in effect the reverse of the stairway shot in Psycho, follows Rusk and his victim up a stairway until they disappear into a room then the camera slowly, smoothly tracks down to the London street as the murder takes place off-screen. Not only is it a wonderful shot, it also illustrates something one of Hitchcock’s main themes, violent terrible acts happen right in the midst of everyday life. If there’s a weak portion of the film, then it must be the score by Ron Goodwin. While it is more than serviceable, it also made me long for long time collaborator Bernard Herrmann who had fallen out with the director. Knowing what Herrmann had done in the similarly themed Twisted Nerve, I can only speculate how interesting his work on this film would have been. Goodwin provides decent music for many of the set pieces, but none of it really sticks in my head or brought the film to another level.

Frenzy really was Hitchcock’s stab at staying relevant to modern cinemagoers, and it was also the first film of his to be tagged with an ‘R’ rating. Some people have criticized this film for trying to hard, but Hitchcock had never been one to stay behind the times. He was a progressive filmmaker, and it doesn’t surprise me that he would want to push the boundaries of sex and violence in his films. I find it to be a fascinating work, and while it may not quite stack up to some of his earlier work, it is a film I gravitate back to repeatedly. This was really the last film where Hitch was able to put all of himself into the production, and the fact that it retuned him to his native England for the first time in 20 years surely was revitalizing to the director. He had one more film in him, the underwhelming 1976 feature Family Plot, but by that time both he and his wife Alma were in ailing heath. Frenzy is the work of a master director expanding his limits, and to me, it is as important a film as he ever made.

Bugg Rating