Six is the Number of Awards, and the Number of Awards Will Be Six

Unless you’ve been hanging out under a rock this week, then you know that Blog awards have been invading the horror blog-o-sphere like you would not believe. I’ve received several so I’m going to tackle them all at once here. If I happen to miss anyone who awarded me, I apologize. I think I have them all down though, and I’m going to combine them somehow into a one giant Franken-award. The first honor came by way of Geof from the great non-horror blog, Enter the Man Cave who bestowed on me the Keative Blogger award. I really appreciate this one coming from Geof as he writes one of the most creative and entertaining blogs out there. It’s one of the very few I read that doesn’t focus on cinema, and you’ve got to be pretty damn good to make me read something NOT about film.

One of the rules of Kreative Blogger is telling seven things about myself you folks might not know. Here goes….

1. My favorite albums are The Beatles- White Album, El-P- Fantastic Damage, Van Morrison- Veedon Fleece, Tift Merritt- Another Country, and Modest Mouse- We Were Dead Before the Ship Even Sank.

2. I’m a native South Carolinian, and you know what you call SC residents? Sandlappers. I always find that hilarious. I’m a Sandlapper. Excuse me while I go chuckle.

3. I have dog, Mad Maxine, and a cat, Sydney Vicious, but generally they are both major pains in the ass and get called “cat”, “dog”, or some other unprintable sobriquet.

4. My first punk band had their first and only gig at a fundraiser for a kid’s elementary school. If there’s something more punk rock than your band splintering directly after raising money for finger-paints, I don’t know what it is.

5. I write left handed, but I golf, bat, play guitar, and make sweet, sweet love right handed. I know. Which is stranger, the fact that I’m that way or the creepy turn that sentence took.

6. Here’s my favorite joke of all time:

A Mushroom walks into a bar and says to the bartender, “I’ll have a drink.”

The bartender says, “We don’t serve your type here.”

To which the mushroom replies, “Why not? I’m a fungi.”

7. When I was a little kid and The Gong Show was on and if Gene Gene, The Dancing Machine came on, I would dance right in front of the TV and say “Gene Gene” over and over and over.

The very next day I got hit with the award bat again when Emily from The Deadly Doll’s House of Horror Nonsense also awarded me with the Kreative Blogging Award. In her award, Miss Intravia called me her “my brother in arms when it comes to bad, bad cinema”. I am honored to be fighting the good bad fight with you, ma’am. After all if it wasn’t for Emily, I would never have seen Fear of Clowns, and how empty my life would have been. I want to thank Emily for the award, and encourage you folks to grab a copy of the new Paracinema magazine that contains a kick ass article from her on Battle Royale II.

On Wednesday, I was honored again when William Malmborg gave me the One Lovely Blog Award from his great site. I really like reading William’s work because he brings up some great literary horrors work, and I rarely get a chance to read anything good. So when I’m looking for a book I often turn to his site to find something I might like. He’s also got really, really cute cats, and I won’t lie that goes a long way with me. He’s a great dude with a great blog, and I am very grateful he thought of me.

As if that were not enough for Wednesday, I also got another Kreative Blogger award from Rev. Phantom from Midnight Confessions. The Rev. has been my pal almost since the beginning of this site, and I count on his funny, incisive reviews to push me to do better. The Rev. is the type of guy I wish lived next door so we could cook out, talk over the fence, and have lengthy Italian film festivals. In short, the man’s a badass, and I thank him for the award and his friendship for the past couple of years.

Now this seems like enough awards for any one blogger, but they’re not done rolling in yet. Next up is Bill from Radiation Scarred Reviews who gave me the One Lovely Blog… Of Doom Award. Bill is a frequent commenter and reader of the Lair, and I thank him for it. I thank him more for maintaining his site. His simple unadorned reviews always cut straight to the heart of films in a way that I wish I could. He does a great job, and I thank him for taking a moment out to honor lil ol’ me.

Last but not least was the award that came in from Uranium Willy from Necrotic Cinema. He’s passing out the Fibonacci Award for “those bloggers and blogs whose work have inspired others. The blog should be one that would cause others to want to passionately create something new and in the process inspire someone else to create a new post and soon marvelous posts are being spawned at a ratio calculable only by some esoteric mathematical formula.” I’m deeply honored that Willy thinks of me and the Lair that way. The feeling in mutual. Here’s a guy who has to really jump through some technological hoops to even get his blog out of China, and he’ll do whatever it takes to get it out there. That shows such a devotion to me that I consider Willy something of a blogging hero. I would probably give up, but he sticks to it and delivers great content day after day.

So now that I’ve covered all the awards I got I need to bestow a few. Since it’s what I got last, and it hasn’t been around the party already, I’m going to pass on the Fibonacci Award for a few blogs that I find to be inspirational. They are under no constraints to pass this on or post anything about it. I just want to shine a light on a few blogs that haven’t been mentioned as much lately, but are no less deserving.

1. XXX Marks the Plot- Anyone can talk about the sex in porn films. It’s not hard to give a laundry list of positions and such, but it is really boring. Thankfully, there are bloggers like Mr. X-Ray who take the time to look at the stories that porn movies are telling. You know the stories, the parts between the sex. This is consistently one of my favorite reads, and I love his slant on the oft maligned material.

2. Italian Film Review- You know I love me some Italian film, but you know who I love to hear talk about them? A Welsh guy! That’s right Nigel does his review up short and sweet, but they’re always to the point and let me know everything I need to know when making my viewing decisions.

3. Plaid Stallions- One of the things I love most about ‘70’s cinema is the clothes. So one place I love to check out every day is Plaid Stallions. There’s nothing better than checking out the styles, ads, and toys that exist now only on the edges of my memories. Now they also exist on this fine blog, and I’m constantly inspired by this site to keep digging in thrift stores until I find his and hers matching jumpsuits.

4. The Realm of Ryan- I don’t care how many awards I get, I will ways pass one on to Ryan. There’s no one blogger that inspires me more than Ryan. From his two successful runs at National Novel Writing Month, his columns over at Black Gate, or his insightful reviews, I am constantly astounded by the talent this guy has. Plus he’s got a great collection of suits and hats, and that’s something that really inspires me. Someday I might even find out who his tailor is.

I think that about wraps it up. I could have easily turned around and given an award to any of the blogs who lauded me or any of the great blogs included in Bugg Zappers on the sidebar. There are so many great sites out there, and it’s nice to see all this love being spread around. Thanks for reading, thanks for the awards, and thanks to anyone who goes and checks any of the blogs I recommended.