Deadly Doll’s Choice: We're Going to Eat You (1980)

If I were going to be consumed in some way, and I got my choice of the method, I think I would want to be made into a gelatinous doughnut filling. First off, it doesn’t sound particularly appetizing, and secondly, the person eating me would be likely to spill some of me down their shirt. That kind of thing could ruin a day, and if I’m going to have to be killed and eaten, I’m going to serve as an inconvenience at least. What served as no inconvenience at all was the film that Emily from The Deadly Doll's House of Horror Nonsense picked for our film swap this month. For my part I picked the illustriously titled Hot Wax Zombies on Wheels for her viewing pleasure, and her pick for me was Tsui Hark’s 1980 film Di you wu men or We're Going to Eat You.

Hark was a director I knew more by reputation than his filmography. I’ve seen a couple of installments of his Once Upon a Time in China series and knew he had produced John Woo’s 1986 film A Better Tomorrow, but I had never taken a special interest in him. So while I had heard of We're Going to Eat You, I wasn’t aware it was one of his films. After seeing it, that special interest might have been sparked. I watched it early one weekend morning while sipping on a hot cup of coffee, and it was the perfect way to start a day. Watching the combination of horror, comedy, and martial arts unfold took me right back to my childhood when the USA network would air Kung Fu theater Saturday afternoons after cartoons.

We're Going to Eat You stars Norman Chu as Agent 999 is sent to a rural Chinese village to arrest a bandit called Rolex (Melvin Wong), who sports a tattoo of a fist on his chest. Upon arriving, Agent 999 begins to suspect that something is wrong, and he soon discovers that cannibals, addicted to the flesh of strangers, populate the village. Agent 999, a traveling pickpocket (Kwok Choi Hon), and Rolex must band together to take down the town’s villainous, and hungry, chief played by Eddy Ko. Along the way there’s enough slapstick to make a Three Stooges fan happy, enough martial arts set pieces to delight fans of classic Shaw Brothers, and enough cut rate special effects to make a H.G. Lewis fan giddy.

To say that We're Going to Eat You was not what I expected would be an understatement. I don’t know what I expected exactly, but Hark’s film defies classification. Combining a pinch of Italian cannibal mojo with Half a Loaf of Kung Fu, Hark gives Sam Rami a run for his money in the zany horror category. Much of this is due to the great performances. While Norman Chu was wonderful with his neo-noir portrayal of Agent 999, the film really belonged to Kwok Choi Hon who played the pickpocket and Eddie Ko who played the Chief. Ko slinks around the screen with an insane, sweaty looking power that delighted me, and Kwok Choi Hon gave the pickpocket a kind of wimpish likeability that brought to mind the charismatic likeability of Jackie Chan.

We're Going to Eat You is one of my favorite kind of cult films, a genre mash-up. Sometimes directors lose balance between the bits of pieces they are trying to cobble together, but in this case, Hark put together a film that is hysterical, action packed, and a bit gross as well. I can’t thank Emily enough for picking this one out for me, and I can’t wait to see what she has in store for me next month. So head on over to The Deadly Doll’s House to check out what she thinks about Hot Wax Zombies on Wheels, and as for me, I’m feeling a bit peckish. Perhaps a run out to Krispy Kreme is in order.

Bugg Rating