Ladies Night Presents Sorority Row (2009)

SORORITY ROW (2009) DIRECTOR: STEWART HENDLER WRITERS: JOSH STOLBERG, PETE GOLDFINGER STARRING: BRIANA EVIGAN, MARGO HARSHMAN, RUMER WILLIS, JAMIE CHUNG and LEAH PIPES

Six sorority sisters work out an elaborate prank to get even with a cheating boyfriend. After all, “If you cheat on one Theta Pi, you cheat on all Theta Pis”. Things go too far when the cheating boyfriend, thinking his girl was really dead, kills Meagan in an attempt to help hide the body. All except Cassidy( Evigan ) decide to hide the body and cover up the murder. They all have too much to lose, and Meagan would not want her sorority sisters to be punished for an accident. The other girls blackmail Cassidy into going along with plan and keeping her mouth shut. The sisters continue to hide their secret for the next eight months. After Graduation, the girls are throwing their sorority’s annual senior party. Suddenly, the girls start getting threats on their cell phones, and the corpses start piling up.

Tid Bits

--Writers Stolberg and Goldfinger will team up again for 2010’s Piranha 3-D.

--Actress Briana Evigan is the daughter of Greg Evigan, or TV’s BJ McKay from BJ and the Bear. They also starred together in 1993’s House of the Damned.

--Rumer Willis is the daughter of the reason we love Die Hard flicks.

--Jamie Chung was on some installment of MTV’s The Real World in 2004.

--Margo Harshman was in Rise: The Blood Hunter, and she also starred in the Saturday morning children’s show Even Stevans.

--Leah Pipes starred in a few various “coming of age” teen films.

I would like to start off by saying that I did not have high hopes for this one. Then, when Miss Directed, T.L. and I got to the theatre and saw the movie poster, my expectations got lower. Then I watched a preview for the latest Twilight installment, and my expectations got even lower. By this time, I was planning to review some shiny piece of crap that would be rewarded with a 1 rating. With that out of the way, I was pleasantly surprised by my overall enjoyment of tonight’s feature.

I have never seen the original, so I cannot compare the two. But, I really liked the good, clean, slasher film fun. It had all the required elements…young scantily clad girls, deep dark secrets and delightful deaths. There was even a sprinkling of misdirection to keep things interesting. This, combined with the fairly decent acting and bits of witty dialogue, kept the movie fresh and fun to watch. The story line moved along nicely, and most of the camera work was great. I would like to take a moment to give props to Leah Pipes. Her portrayal of Jessica, the bitchy queen bee of the bunch, was fantastic. Granted, she had most of the witty dialogue, but she really embodied the character.

Now, don’t get me wrong, this is not a great slasher film by any means. I am not suggesting that one stop what they are doing and rush out to the local cinemateque to view Sorority Row. I am not even suggesting that it is must be seen on the big screen. However, I am suggesting that it be seen. Go see it, rent it or wait until a friend brings it over, whatever. I don’t think one will be disappointed.

Kegger Rating

I would rather cut off one of my arms than spend one day in a sorority house. I have never had a boat load of girl friends because nothing frightens me more than a day at the mall having to say things like, “He doesn’t deserve you.” or “You don’t look fat in that”. I can honestly say I’ve never had to hold someone’s hair back while they puke, and I’m thinking about having that put on my tombstone. My judgmental nature makes me a bad person. The fact that I will run to the theater to see the same kind of girls I loathe stabbed to death says things about me that are much worse.

I came into this movie expecting to see some girls die in a shower after showing a hint of side boob. That was really about the most I hoped for. The opening credits rolled over slow motion of the sorority’s rush week, girls jumping on trampolines and being subjected to evil hazing of the incoming senior class. This was successful story telling. By the time I was ten minutes into the movie, I had picked out three characters to go on my death wish list.

Sorority Row is a revenge plot gone off the rails. It’s pretty run of the mill, but gets saved by some pretty fun scripting. Some of the lines feel very “this is how we talk cause we‘re cool chicks”, and it verges on being irritating. I have never met people that talk about their cell phones so much! Thankfully, the jokes keep coming and gloss that over a bit. The acting in the film gets much better as it rolls into the second and third acts. Instead of laying this all at the feet of the performers, I will say as the script picked up and the performers followed.

The most jarring thing about Sorority Row is the way it was shot. At times the camera is still and at a reasonable distance from the action. There are a large number of massive party shots that look pretty good, but the occasional break into slow motion was a bit odd. However, as soon as there is a scene with only a couple of characters, I felt like I was watching The Hills. It had a very reality show feeling to it with shaky cam showing up out of nowhere. The close shots did allow for tension to build, but as often as not, it failed to pay off. On a few occasions, it created some decent misdirection and foreshowing.

I enjoyed this movie more than I thought I would. The marketing out there for it is doing it a disservice. It skews so much toward a younger demographic, most old fogies like me will skip this one. Since I wasn’t expecting that much, I might be grading this film on a curve. It's candy that is not that bad for you. Yes, the pretty girls walk in slow motion, yes, bitchy girls get killed, but who doesn’t secretly like a pretty, bitchy girl.

Kegger Rating