We've all had those days. The no good, very bad days where we wished we
stayed in bed. Those days when nothing goes right. Waking up late,
missing your ride, and spilling coffee are all terrible ways for your
morning to start, but is anything worse than the kind of day where you
feel like a powerful Native American shaman is growing in a tumor in
your back and preparing to burst forth on an unsuspecting world? Those
are really, really the w
orst, but you know what's the best, Emily from
The Deadly Doll's House of Horror Nonsense. Over the past few years,
these movie swaps between the Deadly Doll and I have resulted in some of
the strangest flicks I've ever seen, some real gems, my top trafficked
review of all time, and some excruciating cinema that was painful to
watch. No matter how I felt about the individual films, I always enjoy
Emily's picks as they are often outside of my comfort zone. This month,
however, she threw me a softball. Sure, she picked something bad, but
I'm talking about some classic awfulness, the kind of stuff that would
make Ed Wood, Jr. say, "Hey, that's great." It was the particular flavor
of terrible that caused me to fall in love with cult cinema so many
years ago, and, despite it's infamous reputation, I somehow had never
seen it. So join me for this edition of The Deadly Doll's choice where
someone is about to have the kind of terrible day I mentioned earlier
when a Hollywood legend tangles with
The Manitou.
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Karen Tandy
(Susan Strasberg) hasn't been feeling well, and the reason isn't a
headache isn't listening to her huckster boyfriend Harry (Tony Curtis)
performing his fake swami act on an unsuspecting mark. Instead, what
ails Susan is a growing lump on her back, and her doctors seem mystified
when they discover the lump contains a fetus. With the doctors unable
to operate, partially because their equipment turns against them when
they try, it's up to Harry to try and save the woman he loves. On the
advice of an archeology professor (Burgess Meredith), Harry begins to
believe the growth is actually a Native American shaman using Susan's
body as a vehicle for reincarnation. With Western medicine unable to
help Susan, Harry seeks out his own medicine man, John Singing Rock
(Michael George Ansara), and the pair engage in a cosmic battle with the
powerful manitou, or spirit. Their only hope to defeat the spirit, a
melding of the old ways and the "White Man's magic" lurking in machines.
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Boy, wow, where do you start with this one. In the first
fifteen minutes of
The Manitou, there is the introduction of the back
fetus and Tony Curtis disco dancing around his apartment. Things get
weirder from there. As everyone knows, there's two kinds of bad movies,
actual terrible flicks (
Gigli, the "works" of Bill Z. Bub
, The Nasty
Rabbit) and what I like to call classically bad films. Things like
Plan
9, The Room, Attack of the Killer Tomatoes, and at least half of Nick
Cage's resume are some examples of what I consider classical or, as some
would say, enjoyable bad films. To that list, I would add
The Manitou.
It has everything you need to elevate a bad movie into that old familiar
catechism "so bad it's good”. First, you have a plot that doesn't make
really any kind of sense. Then you add in a past their prime movie star
star (or lots of boobs, you need one or the other). Then you're gonna
kick it up a notch with special effects that are trying, usually really
hard, but missing the mark in a spectacular way. If you can blend in
some kind of supernatural mumbo jumbo on top of it, then things will be
all the more better for it.
The Manitou has all these things in spades
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I've
already told you about the story, so lets not dwell too long on the
tumor (Ok, it's not a tumor, it's a shaman.), the thing that really blew my mind, and send me scrambling to Amazon, was that
The Manitou is
based on a book by British author Graham Masterson. What's more, it's
from a series of books starring Harry Erskine, the character portrayed
by Tony Curtis. That bit of casting is where the "White Man magic"
really gets the film going. I have no idea why Curtis, the star of
classics such as
Some Like It Hot and
The Defiant Ones took a turn in
this half cooked spin on The Exorcist woven up with the worst kind of
superstitions about Native Americans. In previous years, the former
movie star had been hamming it up on television (Notably with a
pre-James Bond Roger Moore in
The Persuaders.), but
The Manitou must
have appealed to him somehow beyond a mere paycheck. He gives it his
all, and he is clearly relishing the moment to go over the top in a way
that is sometimes Shatner-esque. Curtis is one of the best examples of a
horrible film elevated completely by one actor. The same role in the
hands of a William Girdler regular Leslie Nielsen would have made
The
Manitou fall apart.
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Speaking of Girdler, whose career was
tragically cut short while scouting in the Philippines for his next
film, he was also giving it his all out there on the screen. After the
unexpected success of
Grizzly, Girdler got a bump in budget, and it's
all out there on the screen for better or worse. The cosmic finale is
something to behold, and any description I have attempted doesn't do
justice to the slimy demon shaman battling Tony Curtis in a star field
around a hospital bed. It's something that has to be seen to be
believed. The rest of the cast do what they cam with what they have but,
Strasberg gets to lay about when not doing a Charles Laughton
impression and Michael Ansara, a Syrian immigrant, sets back the
perception of Native Americans about half as much as Johnny Depp's
Tonto. The foibles and faults of
The Manitou should add up to a complete
travesty, but instead, through some happy alignment of the stars and
planets, it doesn't. Instead it remains consistently entertaining
despite of and because of its faults.
That's the stuff of real
classically bad film, and through the ups and downs and ins and puts of
the genre film world, I'll be a happy Bugg to be able to continue
swapping films with my good friend Emily. Make sure you head over there
today to check out her review of a favorite film of mine,
Mario Bava's Kill, Baby, Kill! I thought it was the perfect choice for the
Deadly
Doll because, well, it's got scads and scads of creepy dolls in it. Isn't that reason enough?
Bugg Rating
The only thing that would have made The Manitou better would be if it had a few creepy dolls. Dolls that shot lasers. Although if that happened, I'd just don some wizard garb and throw myself off the cosmos, because really, what could ever top that?
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